as long as i chudd remember my mom was on drugs. wen she was high on pills me nd my sister picking her uhp off dha floor nd putting her on dha bed, making shure she ate, nd giving her a bath became a every day routine. we were young, very young nd we had to run behind our mom like a toddler. our dad wasnt going to do iht nor was our brothers, he had a enough wit her popping pills nd being selfish. me nd my sister was too bhuh our love for our mom was so much dhatt iht chuddnt let us leave her der. now my my mom was never a loving lady, she only thought about herself . she came first. she treated me nd my sister like dog shit wen she wasnt high bhuh for sum reason we still love her.
my dad wasnt dha best either. he gave us no comfort nd made us pretend like nunthing was ever wrong like we was a healthy happy family.  at school ihn my 4th grade class i whudd sit ihn silence while tears rolled down my face. bhuh once a teacher asked mee whatt was wrong i whudd quickly wipe dem away. i whudd lie nd say everything is fine knowing deep down i wantted to break down nd tell em everything. i hated dha word “home” bekuz even tho i had a house home is somewhere yhu feel safe cozy nd dhatt i didntt hav. my outlet frm der was at my aunts house bhuh dhatt quickly changed wen i was molested by my cousin. so i hav no outlet nd no “home”.
i kept iht a secret for 2 years. afraid dhatt i whudd divide dha family. years of depression, bhuh verbal abuse at “home” came wit iht. hearing my own father kall mee a fat ass, a dumb ass, my mother kalling mee nd my sister a *****. wen is iht gonna stop ? i kalled on “god” i prayed for years, asking for forgiveness for anything i did to stop punishing mee , or if  he chudd make my life better. ihnstead my life became worse. my depression became worse. at diss point ive tried to kill myself 6 times. 12 years old nd feeling like 21 years old.
at 13 i had to do everything for myself. wen drugs caught uhp wit my mom nd put here ihn dha hospital for month, my sister was dha only one i had nd we depended on each other. we whudd go to dha hospital on dha bus at 7 ihn dha morning nd gett uhp crying kuz we had to go home on dha bus at 10 at nite on dha west side. while my dad was working ihn Cali dhatt was a everyday routine for us for our whole summer break.
now im 14 years old, still depressed, still getting treated like nunthing, wittoutt a sawry frm my mother, father, or cousin for ruining my childhood, nd living ihn a apartment smaller den small wit parents who gav uhp on mee nd my 17 year old sister. is der a god? if so where is he ? kuz i need him ASAPÂ dont yhu agree ?
3 comments
Of course there’s not a god. Look at the state of the world. Look how much bad stuff happens to people today, and how much bad stuff has happened to people throughout history. We’re on our own here, folks. Simple as that. Stop pretending otherwise and deal with reality.
I was visiting my 7 year old niece tonight and she confirmed that there was no god. She told me that my sister (her mum) had said it was my nephews turn to have the Nintendo DS this week, but that this was a mistake because it should actually be her turn. She then went on to say that she had asked god to rectify this injustice, but “he didn’t do anything about it.” Because of that, she had concluded that god didn’t exist.
Maybe there is a God.maybe there is non.but will that really change anything?.i dont think so.beli u deserve all d luv the world has to offer but your being treated this way(not like we are being treated differently)just proved to you that the world has none to offer..you will find love some days.we are not all being treated fairly that why we are here in this big family.to give ourselves reasons to hold on.and watchout for a better world.WE LOVE U BELIZEAN.
I believe there is a god…. Im not of any certain religion I just believe there has to be something of a higher power than us… I don’t think god just serves wishes on command. Im not sure how he works. All I know is none of all the bad things in the world are his fault… Humans make their own choices. And its not like I have a perfect life. Not as horrible as yours sounds, im truly sorry, but I have a younger sister who has a lung disease. She has the lungs of a fourty year old and we don’t know if she’ll make it to 30 or 15… But thats not gods fault thats just genetics. Sometimes he answers your prayers and sometimes he doesnt… I just always think to myself well maybe he’s helping someone else who’s in a worse situation… Its a hard topic. I hope things get better for you, idk how to get over this depression crap myself but maybe things will change for you for the better. I sure hope so.