I have been contemplating the final act for weeks on end. My roomate just left for work so the apartment is mine if I choose to do so. The only way out is a rope, I dont have access to any pills this time. I think about the actuall moment of loosing conscieness. I have a video of a person which posted his suicide online from hanging. I’ve watched it 10 or 20 times over the last year and a half. His body isn’t completely suspended meaning he could have stood up at any point before passing out to stop his suicide. I have never tried to pass out before from aphixia some people do this while masturbating to improve orgasm then remove the rope just before passing out, some die by accident. So I have no reference point as to when the passing out comes. How much pain will be involved ? Will I have the will power to actually go thru with it ?
All I do know is that my life after 51 years is basically over, I have no friends, no family that wants anything to do with me so I may as well not be here.
3 comments
Someones bound to ask; how did he post the video?
It’s up to you, truly. There’s no right or wrong time…you do your best & if that’s your choice I’d say just be certain in your heart that’s what you feel. I believe the heart knows everything we need-people think you’re killing yourself but I believe you’re releasing & relieving yourself from any more whatever…again, it’s up to you. The whole judgement thing is created to control us I believe. All the best.
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/10/video_marcus_james_21_commits.php
It was a live broadcast that someone captured I guess.