Sometimes I wish I was normal but that’s never going to happen. Life is supposed to get better but I doubt that. All I feel is numbness and it’s better than the pain I felt before. The only thing stopping me from going through with suicide is my best friends wouldn’t be able to handle my death well. My mom stopped caring about me a long time ago but my dad would go crazy without me with him. I refuse to live for myself, I only live for them, although I don’t care about myself, I care too much about others to put them through […]
July 2012
Tonight, I broke down. It has been almost a month since I began recovering from a yearlong eating disorder that destroyed my life. No therapist, no support from family, just me. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am still going strong. Some moments are good, some are terrible. Tonight was just awful, I couldn’t get myself together. I was sobbing because I lost hope for half a second and I started thinking about everything. I just felt so alone.  I pulled myself together and knew I was going to be okay, sometimes we all fall apart. So at the same […]
I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]
I can’t. this isn’t living. This is barely fucking surviving. And I can’t take this anymore. I should’ve done it right the first time or hell even the second time…who knows maybe the third time’s the charm. Fuck! Fuck it all to hell. I can’t even think straight anymore. I just want this to end. it’s time for my pathetic/miserable existence to end
Im so tired. Of everything. Im 16, divorced parents since I was young. Two half sisters. One with a disease which will end her life one day. There’s constant fighting about it. That’s all I ever hear anymore. To make it even better, my little sister talks about how she wants to hurt herself. She got that idea from me, because I’ve gotten caught cutting. Im not good at anything, there’s something wrong with every part of my body. I laugh with my best friend but if we aren’t together im worthless. I disgust myself. And there’s nothing I can do. I want to end […]
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
it’s been along time since i came on here. I have many reasons why i didn’t come back here for a while. one of them was because on march 7th, just in time something happened. And after that alot more things happened that made that moment- not so unique anymore. for anyone that’s read my posts before, this one is nothing new- still me typing probably not making any sense i just write as i think i guess.
Im stupid in love, not with him, with the idea of what life should be. I expected it to be a certain way by now, and i expect […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
The thing about my sister, is that she is mean. Not only that, but she doesn’t realize that when she tells people these mean, horrible things, that they are affected by it. That what she says to me, makes me feel worse about myself. How many times have I cut myself over things she said or did to me? Too many. How many pills did I try to overdose on, July 1 2010? Over 40. That same year, I overdosed again on August 23. The second Monday in school. That same year, months earlier, I tied together a bunch of knee high socks, and tried […]
So its coming up really soon that my mom will now be dead for two years. That’s still really hard to think of, i still cry over her and think that i was a shitty daughter to her. I mean if i wasn’t a good daughter why should the fuck should i be a mom or matter of fact even be alive. Why should i continue to be on this earth if i am not with the one person that i miss and love and still need? Yes i am twenty years old and i need to start to be on my own. It kills […]
Wow, you know I never thought I’d say this, but I’m enjoying life. Ive got a boyfriend, but its long distance.. Still though hes wonderful.. Calls me beautiful and always full of compliments.. I got a job, im just.. Relieved things are going so good. Im sort of surprised but its nice. I hope your all doing okay. Please, dOnt give up, find something to occupy yourself with.. Distract yourself, take your meds,eat healthy, excersize. Your all wonderful here.. And I love you all. Thank uou do much for helping me, im glad I didnt take my life like I was going to. […]
i wish i could be more
i wish i didn’t have a core
i die every day
sick and tired of all
i wish i was in the middle of a war
you would shoot me
i would fall.
i couldn’t stand at all.,
i yelled at all the fishies in the sea
they didnt care whether i was ment to be
i layed down on the grass as a troop passed by
they shot you down
you fell to the ground
the first person i see in the comments area is donnieblackqwert
is that really you?
Do you even remember me?
i honestly don’t care whether or not i die. if a car drives towards me. sure, i’ll jump to safety. its natural. and wayyy to messy. i heard that girls end their cycle through pills n shit.. boys do it the messy way, shotguns or roadkill. i don’t care much though. its ok.
i just wished nobody cared. it would have been easier to be me. so. my gran found out im smoking. she started off like god was against me. i ended the conversation with saying: why would god care if i provoke cancer when children starve to death somewhere else.
my life might not seem […]
I don’t what is wrong with me as I sit here all I can think about is killing myself and how I would do it. I don’t think I have a reason to want to kill myself. I just can’t it out of my head. Just seeing the blood running out of my body and the sleepy haze that comes with it. I just don’t know why I want to do it or keep thinking about it. What do I do?
My plan for a long time has been pills and a letter left behind for my family. I’ve never had any specific date and I’ve never known what to take or the dosage or anything like that. I have never gone into specifics with the plan. I don’t know, maybe that’s a sign?
Thing is, every time I come close to figuring out the specifics, something comes up and gets in the way of the plan for a while. Things like my best friend needing me and me knowing that I need to be there for her because she needs a proper family even if […]
No one bothers commenting on anything I post…
Maybe I have been afraid to admit how much I have been struggling. Sucidal thoughts have now become obsessive to the point where I have purchased and downloaded books on killing yourself. I now have a method in place and am just waiting to see if it is something I will actually go through with.
You know that fuzzy head feeling. The world seems somehow dark. Need the pain to stop. So alone. No way out. Head hurting, unable to think. Only one way to stop it?
I want to be different so bad but I can’t be
I don’t wanna be depressed;I want to see the bright side of life.
I’m tired of this feeling of sadness
Will it get better?