I’ve been a cutter since I was 11 or 12.. since before I knew why I liked it, or that other people in the world did it.
It may be a dangerous addiction, but I argue that it isn’t worse than drugs or alcohol or smoking.

I basically live in long sleeves and pants, but in ten years, I’ve slipped up and had some scars spotted by friends, family, co-workers.
I find some morbid fascination in people’s reactions and wondered what kind of reactions other people on here have received.

These days, I only keep close friends who understand my issues, but when I was a kid, the first person who ever knew I cut myself told me: “If you do it again, I’ll tell my mom and she won’t let me hang out with you anymore”.
Since then, I’ve been told everything from “that’s so stupid” and “You’re a fucking idiot” to “Do you seriously want attention that badly?” or “You need an outlet” or “I don’t understand how you can do that to yourself”.
When I started fooling around with guys I trusted, they’d tell me the same things, or ignore the scars, or try to compliment me by saying “your body is too nice to ruin like this” (which just made me feel a hundred times worse) and, most recently “you’re not 15 anymore, what the fuck are you thinking?”.

I wish someone would make me stand in my room in my underwear and touch every scar on me and not judge me for it.

I don’t want pity, I want that despite-my-flaws kind of love.
I want someone who loves my scars the way they love my snorting when I laugh and falling asleep on the phone.