The worst place is being stuck somewhere between life and death. Having given up living or making any real effort at life I’m just stuck in this degenerative state. Void of hope or plans or positivity, I’m just here existing, barely. Watching painfully as everyone else around me if moving forward and I just seem to be sinking deeper and deeper daily. A therapist I saw a few times asked me if I was going to kill myself, I told him that I was more scared that I would not be able to than if I would. I don’t have a plan only a desire. it seems that when your stuck in this state, defeated, giving up daily because all the problems are just too overwhelming, most of them are unfixable, my mind just simply won’t let go of the past, so there’s no way to make peace or accept the moment or the future. My fear is not so much of death but of life. I’m afraid of just how far I will slide now that I’ve almost completely givin up.
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6 comments
Well, you can only do your best, and if that’s not good enough, it’s not your fault.
Your mind-set sounds a lot like anxiety. Have you tried Zoloft? I think that most of us here are very intellectual, thus our insight is better than most. This is why we see society for what it is…horrible. Due to our intelligence, we also feel emotions more vividly than most. There’s nothing wrong with feeling suicidal in this messed up society, but there ARE other options.
@ Nolentwohundred, I know many good hearted and extremely intelligent people that are very well adjusted to this planet. Depression is a tendency and a state that comes from chemical imbalances, traumatic experiences, current circumstances and prefixed patters and views that you develop. It’s a fucked up world in many ways but I get why some people can be happy.
@Mimito, Same same here.
Hi…Maybe just have a look at the site….I know it is difficult, no sorry fucing confusing if your feeling like you do and dont have a clue why….Not saying this is the reason/cause but worth looking at…http://www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/what_general_guidelines_treating_bipolar_disorder_000066_6.htm
i understand what your saying i was there once and i managed to to get better but i didnt last and now i dnt think ill be able to get bck out again it used to scare me to think that everything was passing me by while i stayed frozen giving up on trying and now im just lost idk where to go or what to do anymore im just siting here waiting for death to take me when its time to go
Broken Angel what did you do to get out of it the first time?