Well, since the 99% only have the illusion of liberty and not true liberty, please give me the sweet release of a quick and painless death. Not that I want to die; I just don’t want to live this life, as a slave. What a world- the choice of our own life and death is taken away from us. We do not have this thing called “freedom.”
Tag:
Life And Death
Hello, one and all. I am… A newbie poster. *confetti*
I hear things. I hear and see people that aren’t there when I double take or listen harder. When I search my home, no one but myself can be found. Some say it’s stress, some say it’s being tired… Some say I’m crazy.
I don’t know the cause or case, I just know it’s been happening my entire life. Some days I can block it all away. Some days I can’t. Some days what they say makes no sense, some days I find myself with a cord around my neck in my closet. And it’s not that […]
I don’t really talk much about my suicide attempt but when I do, I get choked up and cry. She didn’t know much about it but today, at her house she happened to be looking through my blog and read what I wrote on my day back from the hospital. I couldn’t even look at her. She held me as I cried, and she did nothing but hold me for a while. I don’t know how she does it. How she can be around me, someone so broken and torn between life and death all the time, and still manage to fucking smile. How she […]
It had been half a year since I came here on SP. Since then,I have found my true meaning of life. My life,my pain was the same; but I decided to fight and chase my dreams,and that has made all the difference. I have found my happiness and destination in life. There is no place in this world for those who refuse to fight, I say.
Last night my kitty died. I was playing and laughing with him even at sunset, but at night I found him lying lifeless on the street in front of my house. He must have been hit. It all happened so, […]
well here i am, high sitting here alone. thinking. thinking about the status of my marriage, thinking about life and death. thinking can life really get better for me after all these years? you said that you weren’t going to give up. i assume you were implying i shouldn’t either. that of course depends on who wins the ongoing battle in my head. the rational me knows that killing myself isn’t right. but that isn’t the problem. its the pro-death voice in my head who has been the chatty one these last few months. she knows which buttons to push. she increasingly doesn’t care about […]
One day I’ll be alright, but for now I’ve got to dream and fight. The future, they say, is oh so bright. But from my view it’s as dark as night.
Shadows upon the walls, demons creep, and darkness calls. There’s no victory, the battle lasts eternally. War zone up ahead, life and death fight in my head. I hear the screams of the dead, the words they whisper, the words they said. echoing, inside my mind. Are you okay? of course, I’m fine. No need to fret. For i’m alright. No I’m honest, it’s not a lie. Even if I just want to die, […]
This might seem like a pointless text, but I do need help with something… You see, there’s this girl, and she really fucking awesome, and I would like to try take it further than friendship, but I have doubt, we’re almost completely the opposite, I’m shy, quite and prefer to be by myself and I have attachment issues, while she is confident, loud, and loves to be around people XD but I don’t know if its really worth it… The last time I was close to somebody like this and they said they would be there, ended leaving, and left me with many scars, physical […]
After typing up a ridiculously long post yesterday, I felt better. I actually did, the writing seemed to flow out from my very soul and the pain diminished. However, that only lasted for a few hours.
And then the urges came again, you know the ones. The one that tells you to end it, not for yourself but for those around you. You are not worthy of their love, all you’re doing is dragging them down with you. They don’t deserve this. The last one, I’ll admit. They do not deserve this. And that’s why they don’t know the full extent of my depressive state.
Instead of […]
I feel like I’m in a tug of war between life and death. I’ve given up and now I’m just watching the days go by. What am I waiting for? because I don’t want to live. I want to wake up with a smile on my face, get ready in a good mood, breathe easy and walk happily to my death.. I don’t want to feel fear or guilt or sorrow.
When I think of the countless number of people who have taken their lives since the beginning of man and the men and women who take their lives every year – it makes me […]
Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I’ve walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above.
I wrote this poem directly after a emotional conversation with my parents and the familytherapist. It was the first conversation and therapy with my parents and the therapist.
Like you have to hold your own mirror in front of you.
So you can see all those negativities.
You have to face them,
but you don’t want it because it only takes you down.
Makes you more depressed and more negative than before,
but it’s the only way to face it.
It’s the only way to get rid of those negativities.
But the fact you want to die more than you did before is the […]
I am in a limbo of life and death. I can take the day one step at a time and find joy in things around me, but I am not living. I sometimes get dizzy because I can imagine the world around me, living on as if I never occurred, and I try to take in as much as possible, knowing I won’t last much longer. In august I had an abortion, and the healing process has been very, very slow and full of challenges. I have only told three people, one of them who doesn’t talk to me anymore, one who won’t talk to […]
For several weeks now, I have been thinking about how pointless life is. The more the analysis, the less the want to live. I tried consulting a therapist but I just couldn’t talk about anything. Sometimes I feel like there is so much I have to say but words just don’t come out. The few times I manage to vaguely express what I feel, I find there is no one to listen to me.
The more people I meet, the more withdrawn I become. With each passing day, I am becoming less and less inclined to live. Every morning I wake up and I dread the […]
Life goes on. When you’re dead or aren’t. Death only causes pain. So why do i want to die so badly?
The worst place is being stuck somewhere between life and death. Having given up living or making any real effort at life I’m just stuck in this degenerative state. Void of hope or plans or positivity, I’m just here existing, barely. Watching painfully as everyone else around me if moving forward and I just seem to be sinking deeper and deeper daily. A therapist I saw a few times asked me if I was going to kill myself, I told him that I was more scared that I would not be able to than if I would. I don’t have a plan only […]
Life is hard. And most of the time I can’t take it anymore. I’m not saying my life is the worst but I’m not saying its the best either. On the outside to my closest friends and to family I seem fine, okay. A happy go lucky girl thats enjoying her teenage years. A girl who smiles an laughs a lots. A girl that can hold her own and can never be beatin or brought down. I seem strong. But the real me, the real me is weak. A weak scared confused girl. A girl who is so use to faking her happiness she forgot […]
It was never about some great tragedy that befell me, making me lose the will to live. Although I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth I have not lived through any great traumas. My mother was diagnosed with depression when I was very young, and although that was not easy by any stretch of the imagination, my parents somehow managed to raise me in a fairly stable home, where I was allowed to express myself and become a somewhat strong individual. In all fairness, the bloodline of my mother does have a history of mental problems, but apart from some underlying […]
This is such a weird, yet brilliant website. A place to explore each others internal thoughts, without having to know each other’s name. Reading each post here, I know more about some of these normally unheard people than the people who spend every day with them. Maybe some of the users of this website get annoyed by the use of this website by teenagers, sadly like myself. Anyone who has been through teenage years will blame it on hormones. “Everyone feels the same at your age” “This is normal” “Everyone goes through hard times in their teens” and I’m left feeling no better than I […]
I come from a pretty good family. My father is dead but it seems normal to me. I have a car, I’m in college, I will always have a place to stay and enough money to make it through school comfortably. I’ve cut myself before, it was when I was in Iraq. I wasn’t happy, it wasn’t the whole “war” bothering me, it was the people. I don’t like being a girl. I feel out of place. The Army doesn’t care. It was a hard year for me. I’m 24 and I’m staying with my mom until I finish college. She’s nice. Buys me what […]
Im not scared of death. I welcome it with arms wide open. Some days I just sit and imagine it. Me. Dead. I only want one thing but, these games are too much to play. The game of life and death always end. If I had a choice I’d be gone. I do have people that care. My one friend knows I’m like this. Some friends do. No family. To most people I seem happy a lot of friends athletic. Im not happy. I hate this skin I’m living in. I try and keep my head up high. It’s really hard cause I wanna die. […]
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