Maybe it’s the way I look or the fact that I have a stutter that turns people off. Combined with having low self-esteem and poor social skills, who’d really want to talk to me, let alone be my friend? Every experience throughout my life has been nothing but miserable, and whenever I reminisce, I’m reminded of how much of a loser I was and still am. What’s even worse is watching my younger sister experience everything I missed out on.
High school was a complete nightmare trying to cope with my stutter, and bullying, along with having friends who did nothing but laugh at my disability, made me hate who I was even more. All those insecurities transitioned to college and furthered my belief that there was something wrong with me. In college, I was either alone in my dorm or at a counselor trying to fix my problems, while my peers were out having fun. Regardless of how many times I tried to put away my insecurities and attempted to make friends, I felt as if no one was really interested in getting to know me, in the exception when they wanted something (i.e. to borrow a game or to help them with an assignment). What’s even more sad is that I wasted four years having not met a single person I could consider a friend nor can I recite a time when I was happy.
So, here I am post graduation looking for a job and with another terrible experience under my belt while my sister gloats about her life in college and all the things I wish I could have done. Yeah, life does get better…
3 comments
Well done for making it through high school and college in those tough circumstances.
It’s a shame that so many people have not managed to see past your stutter, because in print you come across as a bright, interesting person.
I can relate to the envy you feel of your sister, I feel the same when I see carefree (or, at least mentally sound) young people enjoying themselves.
If I were you, I wouldn’t waste any effort in being accepted by people who don’t see past your stutter.
Instead I’d try to get acceptance and friends amongst more tolerant, caring people.
Same in other areas: Your loneliness and introspection have probably given you some useful skills, and in writing, the sky’s the limit for you.
Basically shun the things where you’re at a disadvantage and go for those that come more easily. You’ll also have more energy to enjoy them then.
What did you take in college?
Are you a guy or a girl?
How old are you?
What do you like to do?
What kind of music do you like?
Pets?
Movies?
I’m a guy
None of your B
None of your B
Most
yes
love movie’s