Tonight I was feeling total despair…..I lost my brother to suicide in 1999 – I was contemplating just giving up tonight. I got the courage up to call a hot line I felt weird but desperate to have someone hear my pain. The guy on the other line said some things to help me think straight. I do believe if we want to go we will. Despair is something that can be so intolerable the thought of not being is a comfort. I do have love around me but that doesn’t mean that sadness and loneliness doesn’t find its way through. Being on this site tonight is making me feel less alone……I know somehow in quite an amazing way my brother helped me to find this site.
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yeah, this site is great. btw, do you live in the US? cuz I called one of those hotlines a long time ago and you know what they did? called the police! yup, they were there in about 5 minutes. Thankfully they did not take me to the hospital or anything, but I still felt that was wrong. Never will call there again!
I was put on hold…..wow having the police show up that would have been crazy. Either way reaching out is better than being alone I guess at least they cared enough. Yah I do live in the US. Thanx replying 🙂
Hey bgorman,
Pleased that you are feeling less alone…that is what brought me here a year ago…and now they just can’t get rid of me.
Couldn’t resist when I saw the tag for hotline…hahaha…..When I hit bottom again and reached out for help by calling our local suicide hotline….I was put on hold…shit you not…hahaha. Thank God for SP…yeah.
Sorry to hear about your brother and that you are still grieving sooo badly. Just wanted to let you know that we are here if you want to talk or rant.
Welcome to SP
Peace
Ama
Hello
I was put on hold also….I guess it shows how many people are hurting out there and that is sad. Im doing better and being able to post here sure helps. I appreciate that you replied and welcomed me. I really appreciate it and if its ok — if I get to that low point Im gonna take you up on getting in touch to RANT lol but honestly I do appreciate knowing your there thanx so much 🙂 Happy Holidays I hope the Holidays are good to you.
Hey Bgorman,
This must be the dark humour they were talking about…but being put on hold on a hotline…that there is funny shit…I laughed…hysterically…and then I smashed my desk and messed up my hand. How did your call proceed?
Yes there are more and more of us every day…the walking(sometimes) wounded…sigh. My offer was sincere…just sorry we haven’t connected in person YET…but we will I’m sure. But rant away…anytime you wish. Start a new post…I see you’ve been reading and commenting on others…neat eh?
Glad you are doing better…and you are always welcome on SP…sometimes it does help…just to know you’re not really alone.
Myself…my depression has been lifelong…always in the background waiting…but I fight on…and I’m 51 years old now. Hope you continue to learn, change and grow and feel better…then you can do better eh?
Sending you lots of warm, positive thoughts
Amakua