The Moment wen you realize a knife is at your neck

That one day i was in a depressed mood in a corner trying to figure out what is going on and what triggered the mood. then i kinda disappear mentally into a black room it seemed like the darkest night looking around trying to touch ,taste, trying walk around. Its like you are in mid air but can feel wind or any thing. Then i say a lil light but it wasn’t light it was me with a knife at my neck i freaked out trying to stop but i didn’t know where i was next thing ik i was back dropping the knife on the sink with nothing one my neck i was glad i came back and realized that that happened.