i have no hope

i am starting not to see a reason to go on. i lost my family. my car,my friends,  my job, my house, and my girl friend for the past 9 years doesn’t know if she want to be with me in her new live 500 miles away.i was so happy just 3 months ago when i had all those things and now i want to give up. every day i say to my self “i want to go home ” but the place and girl i called home is gone and will never come back. how do i find hope when my dreams and goals of the last 9 years disperser? i don’t have the strength to rebuild my life alone. nothing good has happened to me since she left and i feel like nothing will. i hate what happened  to my life! every passing day i am thinking less about how to start over and more about how to end it. im  scared of myself, i fear the pain i feel will be to much to handle.