Taking a deep breath…

I need too really clear my  head of the thoughts of suicide that are running threw my head. I had a plan too go when I got home and the only reason I am staying here is because I am still in love with my ex boyfriend and he said he was coming too visit me and even though he hasn’t told me when I am still going too hold on until that happens I am sick of being in this unhappy relationship with the guy I am with now. with him I do not feel happy I feel very invisible and he does not like too call me or even talk too me period, he is always sick because he has Muscular Dystrophy (I get it he is sick and there is nothing he can do but I would like a phone call every now and then not too be invisible and pushed around when I see him) I am sick of his crap… the only problem is I do not know how too break up with him with out hurting him. I hurt him the last time and I am afraid of getting bullied at school for breaking up with him. I get bullied enough and that is the last thing I really need right now I know I need too listen too my self and so whats right but I am so sick of everything I am not happy in my life. I want out, I want too give up, and I want too die. I have a new plan… After I see my ex boyfriend and things are still the same in my life and I am unhappy then I am gone. gone for good.