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Being treated like crap makes you feel like crap….

by hugoka

I have problems with myself. I believe everything in the world is beautiful ba me and some humans. I hate myself, because i have no friends etc. the usual nosh. Anyway, what really makes me angry and upset is my dad. I dont get along with my Dad, he is impossible. Im on summer holidays right now, and we have a grape farm. All holidays, seeing as i have no friends to go out with, i am in charge of keeping our very large house clean as well as things like laundry cooking etc.. and i also work on the farm (i’ve done 75+ hours so far). Anyway, i have no problem with that, but my dad treats me and also pretty much says that i do nothing and i should stop idling. IM SICK OF IT. Nothing is ever good for him. My dad is extremely narrow-minded, short-sighted, pessimistic, critical, rude, insensitive and just plain annoying. I feel depressed alot these days, and even though my mum tries to make me feel better, my dad just makes it completely worse. He says i do nothing for my family. If i finish a hard day of work and sit down, he will ask me why i havent done something else and get angry.
He called my school marks crap.
All of them. I got 4 A’s out of my 7 subjects, and even though i could improve in some areas, my dad dismissed it as crap, he didnt even comment on the 92% i got on my english. My dad frequently treats me like im dumb, he explains the most basic things to me in a strained voice like im dumb. When i tell him what i would like to be when im older, (journalist) he always says that i have no chance and that i wont make any money. He doesnt believe in me at all. No wonder i have no self-confidence. Everytime i do anything good, he squashes it. What do i do? How do i get him to stop? I wish i could move out, but im only 14. I just feel useless and dumb and that i have no more good inside me 🙁 even worse, im scared of ending up like him when im older. SO please help, just some advice or some kind words would be nice 🙂 (oh and dont suggest making friends, because even people i dont know see me on the street and instantly call me gay and treat me like a disease. No one will give me the benefit of a doubt, even though im not gay.)


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MichelleJ 1/23/2013 - 5:25 am

I’m sorry to say it… But fuck him and his damn shit.

Lesswill 1/23/2013 - 6:56 am

Hey! Get back to work

Shinjim 1/23/2013 - 7:16 am

Yes, I know how that is. You look or seem the least little bit different, you get labelled as gay, and with cruel words people try to sculpt you like with a chisel. They label you, they put you in their little box, and they refuse to see anything else. You get pounded down and pounded down every day. For example, they label you as gay and make you a reject, so you’re not seen with girls (much less anyone), and they take that as proof you’re gay when it’s the situation they caused! Being a stupid worthless person anything I say is probably stupid and worthless, but read a bit, it will take you away from the world that hurts you and take you to another, at least for a while. Enjoy getting away from people and get into nature, trees and flowing streams, beautiful places where you won’t see what hurts you. Write down a daily list/schedule of what you do, so you can show your father how much it is. Don’t let people steal your life and future from you, determine you will find a way to live happily even if not today at least someday, even if it’s just to not let them win. Don’t kill yourself, ultimately it’s what the people who hurt you want you to do. Live for the goal.

blacklight915 1/23/2013 - 9:10 am

To hugoka: Well, even if you were gay–I’d still be your friend. 🙂 I…um…I seriously admire you for how hard you work. I’m 22 and I don’t even work close to that much…

As for your dad…well…I’m not that good at social interaction, but here’s my advice: tell him he’s a terrible father and you’re very disappointed in him. Seriously, your dad is awful at being a father–and he needs to know it.

To Lesswill: Um, was that a joke?

hugoka 1/23/2013 - 9:26 am

Thanks 🙂 I would love to but my mum would destroy me -_- plus she is always nicer to my older brothers anyway -_-

blacklight915 1/23/2013 - 9:31 am

Oh, I…does your mom not realize her husband is a terrible father? Or, um…does she just not care? 🙁

hugoka 1/23/2013 - 9:53 am

Well she admits that he can be like that sometimes, but later she just denies it -_-

blacklight915 1/23/2013 - 3:13 pm

I, um…try explaining to her that being a good wife does not involve allowing her husband to emotionally abuse her children, but that being a good mother DOES involve standing up to her husband and keeping her children safe.

hugoka 1/23/2013 - 11:48 pm

I wish i could haha -_-

Letmesleep 1/23/2013 - 11:56 pm

Hugoka, one of the hardest lessons you may have to learn in life is that your father may be unpleasable. Some people are just like that; they despise themselves and therefore feel the need to belittle everyone around them.

I met a 60 year old man in a psych ward once who was a total train wreck because he could never get his father’s approval. He was so desperate to be validated by his father that he built his entire world around him. All of his self doubt, depression, and misery stemmed from his overwhelming need to be accepted by his dad. For your own sake, please don’t be that man.

You clearly work hard and are intelligent, so perhaps you could try simply being satisfied with your own accomplishments? You may never get your father’s approval, and that doesn’t say something about you, it says something about him. He’s a miserable man, and he may need to belittle you to feel important. That’s his dysfunction and it doesn’t have to control your life. You are your own person, and you don’t need his approval to be valuable.

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