I am never good enough. first its school, then its at home, and now my friends. I hate drugs, absolutely hate them and my best friend got this boyfriend who made her int a big ass druggy and now its my fault that her and our other “friends” call me a loser because i don’t do it with them. i changed my Facebook profile picture to me and my boyfriend at prom with her and her ex boyfriend saying “I miss this..” because that was the last time we ever hung out because now shes too busy. (on my birthday i invited her and her boyfriend out to dinner with me and friends and she still ditched me when i invited him because they wanted to go get high). So then i go onto Facebook the next day and see all these comments about me, and how i’m a hater of their relationship and i control her and people change and i’m immature and stupid and a loser. So i liked all the comments so she knew i knew. She has still yet to say a word to me but all of our friends wont talk to me because they’re on her side. but all i did was change my picture.
anywho, i hate my life and now i dont even want to go to school. im  a senior and have 5 months left but every day is a struggle to make it through. i have strong medication in a safe from previous surguries and i know (from research) that if i take them all and go to bed i wont ever wake up. that is my option for death and if it wasnt for my boyfriend i would have been dead a long time ago.
i dont want to, but i do. i dont want to be blamed for other peoples sadness when i do die. i dont know if something is wrong with me, but i honestly cant stnad myself anymore. i dont want to live. help please. please.
4 comments
i’m a senior too friendless… and actually do drugs (sorry). i lost most of my friends because pf my depression and drug use. when someone is so involved with drugs they loose track of pther people and all they want to do is get high or trip balls… i’m sure she misses yuo too but do you really want to be around that? i dont think people who dont do drugs are dumb actually i think they are strong for resisting the temptations. eventually she’ll get sick of always getting high and most likely run back to you once her and her bf break up. thats a huge possibility however she may continue to use. -so either you stick around and you guys make a mutual agreement to remain friends and her not doing shit around you or you guys part ways for a while until you share similar interests again… i hope ive helped a bit. i’m not posting anymore on this site and am just going to comment and try to help others from now on. Remember only a few more months and we are fucking done with high school and will be off to meet and be around different people who hopefully share similar values and ideas! best of luck just hold on through this hell for a little longer dude <3
I’m literally in the exact same position as you are. Today too, all of my friends have turned their backs on me because one of them decided to sprout some nonsense rumor that I said. I too am a senior in highschool so I know well enough the same pressure and stress you’re going through. Although I don’t have a boyfriend, and never did have one, I can still relate perfectly to what is happening. You can read my blog if it makes you feel better and so you can understand that you’re not alone. Unlike those “friends” of yours, I’m here to help you and I won’t turn my back to you like my “best friends” did to me. No one has to suffer the pain we’re going through. Nothing is wrong with you, trust me, I too was just about to kill myself a few minutes ago. Best thing you can do at this point is to fake a smile and pretend it doesn’t affect you. You have a loving boyfriend that I’m sure will do anything for you, so just focus on your studies and him and you’ll be fine 🙂 I kinda wish I had a boyfriend so I wouldn’t be alone tomorrow, but I’ve still got those select few friends that are there for me no matter what. And by the way, I also am against drugs and my best friend turned into a druggie skater just like her boyfriend. And they call us “two-faced”…hypocrites.
Ok, blaming you is a favourite trick people use instead of being responsible for their own problems! Just tell yourself and them that you’re fixing your own problems… Not theirs. That’ll fix them very quick, they won’t have a damn thing to say to you. Why kill yourself for what others think of you? People are responsible for what they do, you’re not responsible for what someone else thinks of you seriously! But yeah this is a sad life, I’d die too if I had the opportunity.
sorry you are so upset.
speaking as an old fart on this board – YOU ARE GREAT!!! It is very hard to stand up and NOT do drugs or follow the crowd. Do not be upset with yourself – be PROUD!
I hope you continue making the right choice. And maybe find better friends. Do not let their bad choices wreck your future.