I am not skinny. I am not fat. I am not pretty. I am not ugly. I am not mean. I am not nice. I am not popular. I am not unpopular. I am not weird. I am not normal. I am not social. I not quiet. I am not liked. I am not disliked. I am not happy. I am not angry. I only identify as one thing; sad. That’s it. Why? I am tired. I am sick (recently diagnosed with heart problems). I have no real friends left. I have no caring family. Why? I never did anything, to anyone. I used to have friends, but then I got ditched for more popular people. I used to have enemies, but people just stopped caring. I am nothing. I have nothing. I identify as nothing. So why bother? Why? If I live my life, just to be “that really quiet girl”. Only few who know my secrets, and nobody cares. I am not stupid. I am not obsessed with school. I am a A&B straight student. I just live life. Life; it’s not even life. My life is a schedule:
6:30… Wake up
8:00… Be at school
12:30… Eat lunch alone
3:12… get out of school
3:45… Be at home
6:00… My brother is home
7:00… My mom is home
8:00… eat dinner
11:00… go to sleep
You see? My whole personality is blank. My whole life is uncharted. I am not remembered. I am not cared for. I am just living everyday, just like the last. I will never mean anything to anyone, because I am just that really quiet girl.
7 comments
What do you need in your life? What can i do to help you?
I know, I feel this way too.
The only difference between my schedule and yours is that I wake up at 8:30 and have classes at 10:00 (and I’m still tired all the time). I am a lot like you, so I know it’s quite hard to want to do something with your life and become someone. I would say try to join a club or do something you love. That might make your life less “blah”.
Hug, I feel the same.
My life is a pretty repetitive schedule as well. I guess you have to change things up every now and then.
I sort of know how you feel, i live my life the same way, doing the same things day after day, week after week. If you ever want someone to just talk to feel free to email me. mrporkchop57@hotmail.com
I say take up a hobby. Get involved. Be accountable for something more than yourself and your studies. Volunteer for suicide prevention group. Animal shelter. Bored to death. … Hmm anyways. Good luck