I’m a newbie to the site… but not in the suicide circle.

Hi everyone.

My name is Teresa, and I am a Depressed teen….

Oh GAWD.. did i really just say that. . . . ok let me start over… let me be real with you guys… and girls.

….

Hi, I’m Teresa. I am 17 years old. My birthday is April 4th. And I can promise you i won’t live past the age of 18.

I bet you all are curious why. I bet you all already know the reason. so does it really have to be said out loud? I think not.

lets continue.

My life sucks. I hate starting out so cliche. but this is one way to start that you will all understand. go ahead start looking trough your fucked up little minds of yours. don’t worry your not alone. i am doing the exact same thing right at this moment. all right. well. i don’t really want to spill out my whole life story. or why the fuck i want to die. cause honestly you all have probably heard it before. my story isn’t much different. i guess. but it is unique  aren’t all of our stories though????

exactly. soooooo. I just lost where i was going with this. . . . . i guess im your typical case.

I was abuse physically, mentally, verbally, and i guess you could say sexually. but the thing was. with the sexual thing. i was only 3 or four. my ex-stepsister who i believe is about four years older than me, molested me. yeah fucked up right. but i don’t know. I see it as what ever. doctors see it as a impacting event of my mental health. or some shit like that.

well my parents are shit. and my other family members just don’t understand. i mean don’t get the totally wrong message about my parents.

my moms a drunk blah blah blah. . . and my dad disowned me just a few months ago. shit got realy after that. but its what ever.

so right now i live with my grandmother… by my own choice. even though she doesn’t understand this mental shit. she thinks i perpously make myself this way. and time and time again i have tried to tell her. what the fuck would you do if you had voices in your head screaming at the top of there lungs telling you to kill your self. and she just gets that look and drops the subject in disbelief.

to be honest i wish i didn’t feel this way. i want a normal life. i do the therapy shit and take my meds like a good girl. but shit never stays good for very long. i had this plan long ago. i’ve been obsessing over it for about a year now. and im sick of trying to get better. im tired of it all.

i want to die.

i don’t want to keep cutting just to make it through each day.

i don’t want to talk to shrinks and doctors.

i don’t want to have to take little colorful pills to stay sane.

i just want to die.

and so i am saying goodbye to so many people.

through my blog —-> http://thisismylifeinquestion.tumblr.com/

there is a password of course. ‘teresa’

follow me do what ever ask me shit. hell i might even tell you my whole life story. so you all can know im not one of those attention seeking little bitches who probably need as much help as me. . . . well im going to post this now. im sick of typing. ugh….. *pops knuckles* ill post soon.

-Teresa-