I’ve felt depressed for a while. I’ve thought about suicide many times, but I’ve never taken any action to do it because of friends, family, etc. But recently, some things have happened that are causing me to think more and more about suicide…For example, my best friend- possibly one of my only friends- seems to be ignoring me and doesn’t seem to ‘want’ me anymore. This friend was the only person I could talk to about cutting myself, my sadness, etc…and now they’re disappearing. Before this, many of my previous friends left me also, including my ex…I have to admit, I am a very sensitive person, and […]
March 2013
So I was talking to the guy I liked and he always asks me how my life is and I always say shit so he asked me why and I told him I was having suicidal thoughts(which I am) he automatically said really? Like he didn’t believe me I sounded like such an attention whore. I said can we not talk about it I sound stupid, instead of denying it was stupid he said ya. I just feel like I shouldn’t have done that and I feel like I just fucked up alot. He Obviously doesn’t understand it and I wish I could take it […]
So, I really want to start a campaign to help the world understand the perspective of people with depression. What do you think? Would anyone be willing to describe/illustrate how the world looks to them with depression? I want to do a documentary, and I think I could use different peoples’ perspectives, anonymously, of course. I made a camera obscura, which basically captures an upside version of the world, and I want to use it as the premise of the film. Like the world is flipped upside down with depression. It changes how you perceive things, […]
i took seroquil awhile back when my depression becaome unbearable and i pray for the od to kill me. know after two years the depression has been worse than it ever was. i returned to cutting and suicide, i had so many great idea on my end. now i have to find how close to the edge i am again i have taken seroquil and i really hope something final will happen… this is my chance to find out how far i really am, to the edge. wonder if ill be back here soon or not. goodnight everyone
More nights than not I look at my hand gun on my night stand and think about walking down the road from my house kneeling down in the field pressing the barrel under my chin at a 45 degree angel and pulling the trigger, I wish I could pull the trigger over and over after the first shot just so I could feel something. I look around at people I see everyday and wonder why I can’t feel the feelings I see on their faces, get excited over life, have real feelings for someone, have someone who has real feelings for me. I ask God […]
i feel as though I should give up.
I want it to be quick. and painless.
that’s all.
If you want to talk and don’t think anybody would understand because they would just try and talk you out of it – I’m here if you need me.
P.S I don’t know of any surefire ways to kill yourself and probably wouldn’t tell you. Seeing as I believe if somebody truly wants to kill themselves they will find a way on their own.
So, I really want to start a campaign to help the world understand the perspective of people with depression. What do you think? Would anyone be willing to describe/illustrate how the world looks to them with depression? I want to do a documentary, and I think I could use different peoples’ perspectives, anonymously, of course. I made a camera obscura, which basically captures an upside version of the world, and I want to use it as the premise of the film. Like the world is flipped upside down with depression. It changes how you perceive things, you know? Just wondering what you all thought as […]
why have you left me here chained to the ground?
You’ve flown up with angels and left me to drown.
My strength is like yours, a trick of the eye.
you followed your dreams.
and now you can fly.
I feel you’ve forgotten you’ve left me here, stranded and lost, with an abundance of fear,
afraid of what’s next,
of even more deaths,
of life all in all,
of taking the fall.
These bonds of mortality are something to fear, they’ll keep you pinned till’ your very last year.
My soul kept bound for one single heart.
why did life have to tear us […]
The major part of my problem with life has to do with being trapped at the bottom of a building. Granted, that was in a WARZONE but little things beyond the DMZ force my mind back into that situation. Today, just as I was getting ready to go home, a security mechanism malfunctioned and I, unfortunately, got trapped in a cold, dark, silent space, two stories beneath a federally controlled building. Minor incident for you, one hour of after work annoyance for about six people, but one goddamn heartbeat too many for ME.
I am so fucking EXHAUSTED from trying to keep “it” together… It’s […]
I’m stuck in place. People rush past me in a blur and no matter how hard i try, i can’t seem to catch up to them. The weight of my life is crushing me, stealing my breath and taking with it my sanity. Every day I have to adjust my face so that i  blend in with the world around me. Hide the fear and desperation from my eyes, and pretend to feel normal. Why am i doing this? Why can’t I turn off these thoughts and feelings that make me shrink back into myself. I am not this person. This timid, emotional, angery person. I […]
I’m a very emotional human being. I’ve gone through so much, like any other 16 year old.
Last summer my Boyfriends cousin passed away. Since then I’ve been depressed, even though he wasn’t family I still became one of his best friends. Ernie was ONLY 14 years old and died of Leukemia. He was so funny and nice. He even had a crush on me :3 He had so much to live for, and he wanted to be a doctor. I felt so bad for his family. He was the only boy and his mom and dad loved him. He was like a piece of glass, so fragile. I would […]
So I know no one is probably gonna see this but it’s my last way of getting any thing out… Lately I haven’t been myself. Like when I hang out with my friends I feel like I’m the most unimportant person in the group and that it wouldn’t matter if I was there or not. I started this new school in January because of bullying and depression issues at my other one. The first few weeks of my new school everyone seemed so nice and bright and happy, now everyone acts like I’m some kind of nuisance and like I should just leave. But some […]
Hello, everybody.
I’m not in the best of mindsets at the moment. All I can think about is Suicide.
I know that I probably shouldn’t be but today I realised something.
Nobody wants me here.
I haven’t been diagnosed with any sort of mental health issue but I know that I’m severely depressed. This upsets me more.
I’ve been in denial for so long. I lied to my loved ones. I’ve cut, bruised, hurt myself to the point where I don’t know who I am anymore.
I wish that things were different [like everybody else] but wishful thinking will never get me anywhere.
My thoughts aren’t […]
The day I met her, we both realized we could help each other. No one else could look past the point we are both girls though. Everyone laughed at us and called us names, but we smiled and helped each other through it. She cut, so do I, the difference.. she didn’t know when too much was too much, that’s probably why she’s gone. We held our heads high, put it started to get worse. I would be hit, and punched and kicked down, and so would she. I tried to help her I just, I wasn’t strong enough. Her cuts started getting worse, she wouldn’t even wear short sleeves […]
The only one that could keep me alive… she lost her fight helping me live through mine.
The only one that could make me smile… he left me for the normals.
The only ones that could keep away my pain… they moved and left me here.
The only one that could hear my cries… she laughed and call me attention seeker.
The only one I trusted… he told all my secrets and told me it was my own fault and walked away.
Why do I even try?
Why won’t I just die?
Why can’t I just end the pain… everytime I’m reminded of you and I know that you’d want me to keep trying,
Why did you leave me?
Why did […]
Well, anyways, I’m 14 (and a girl, if that matters), and like I said up there, I’m kind of confused. This is going to sound terrible, because I know there are people out there with legitimate problems that they honest-to-goodness can’t, but wish they could, control.
A couple months ago, I moved to a new place. I made friends and I have friends, but not close like I used to. I usually feel alone, because I usually am alone. I don’t feel like I have accomplished anything important, or that I will because half the people at my school are so smart. Every time I feel […]
After today broke down i know what i need to do … you are all lovely people thanks for listening
xoxo
goodbye 🙂
I cut my arm. It’s pretty deep. I tried to tell somebody earlier but they were busy.
A few days ago (on the 25th) to be exact I attempted to take my life and almost succeeded! Except, well… remorse and guilt along with my Dog made me realize I made a horrible mistake. Sensing this my body had begun rejecting the drugs that were laced in my suicide cocktail.
The 25th was my dads birthday and truthfully I think he’d be too pleased with himself if I took my own life on his birthday, so, I have decided that no matter what happens I will only kill myself on MY birthday. (looks better on the grave, I think)
Anyways, I really want to have someone who […]