* Note: This was a Message sent originally to the Church of Euthanasia. What I need Ãs, the Quick & the Death.
That’s why I am going to sent Mails to Multiple receivers.
Hello,
For long, long time I suffer { but I think that you have already heard this out of email-Messages more than once. }
I have started several Suicide-Roads [ means thinking and/or/nor preparing & planning for several suicide Methods on which I have resigned due to reasons. ], and have committed one suicide attempt by jumping in front of a Van approximately, roughly, 5 years ago which failed, most importantly because I was being watched and so if I didn’t do it then, I could have lost my chance […]
The Pain is… yes, very much too often in my Live. And it will increase significantly in the Spring Time and Summer Time (…), than, it slows down a bit in the autumn and Winter, to just significantly increase in strength in the next Spring & Summer.
People say that I should be happy that I survived the Van-crash. I’m not.
I am utmost pleased that I met your Organisation, your Church.
Finally, after having walked the suicide roads and walked off them, I had to choose something different.
So in a Morning,, in bed, when I Discarded the Exit-bag method as I don’t live alone (…), I suddenly came up with self-immolation. Yes, a Solid method.
To make it even more Solid, I might want to do some self-stab in a Critical area of my Body in advance, as well.
First. Your suicide websites, Church- approved links, don’t seem to load in the three browsers I have tried to load them with.
Somewhat like Error loading page I get in all three of them, each in their own unique style. I wish to have more information on Suicide Methods, Nagasiva Yronwode
Second. Self-immolation. How to best do it? In what way I have to self-immolate myself so to get the most chance possible for death?
And what do I all need to have to self-immolate myself?
Notice that I live in the Netherlands and [not therefore] cannot order anything Suspicious and odd via the Internet.
Third. Self-stabbing. Harakiri & Seppuku.
I have already read how to do it, but how to get a Dagger, or an appropiate alternative?
And, can it also be done via the Suprasternal-Notch?
yours ThankFully,
Fieluk Ajirst
* To the readers of Suicide Project: I have sent this e-mail to several ( appropiate ) recipients.
I have posted the following comment on YouTube at several ( appropiate ) YouTube Video’s:
I have posted the following comment on YouTube at several ( appropiate ) YouTube Video’s:
NOTE: the following two questions can ( shortly ) Disturb someone and are going to be repeated at several YouTube Video’s ( spam. what Yoú say ).
My live is not Nice.
Oké.
I want to do Seppuku and/or/nor self-Immolation. I am unsure about the Survival-Question; I do NOT want to survive the act and be disfigured for the rest of my Natural Live.
Can anybody give me Advice?
Personal Message can also.
You might be thè One, or One of, that I can thank afterwards…
bye
‘… and Time is not on my side, readers; Spring is coming at March 21e, and consequently, sore will increase.
I beg you to help me.
2 comments
I attempted a form of seppeku w/ a gun-I managed to pierce the aorta,but I lived.I can see why the idea is attractive-but living through it wasnt-there is no way to ensure you womt “mess up” & Im assuming you dont want a failed attempt.I did everything the “right way”& still lived.And thr.recovery, ty he heart surgeries,chest tubes,lung drains,broken ribs-6mos in the hospital-&my family??devestated-my relationships will never be the same.My nieces&nephew act scared of me.Im evrnmore of an outcast than I was…Idk-I just had to respond to this one.
You already wás an outcast?
Why is that?
I know about the family; they want you to keep living, otherwise they suffer.
Now you and I have to suffer, unless we can find a way out of this shit. It’s about who is Victorious. And as long as there is no self-doing way out, they are Victorious.
You are right about the point of Solidness; it MUST cause death.
I even thought about jumping from a height as well, but quickly discarded that as There is no Practical situation;possibility, for doing those three at once.
It’s for a part not my Fault when I do things wrong in my Live, nów; I have already chosen to die, and they persistently try to prevent it, making them indirectly responsible for my forced deeds, and me, myself, still directly.
Although Directness wins of Indirectness, the ones Preventing me from dying should share 25% of Punishment of a crime that I might commit, if that crime has to do, and has connections with my issues.
That means that if 5 people prevent me from dying, and I have committed a Crime that has relations with my Issues, 25/5=5% of punishment they each should get of mý total Penalty ( and if they are psychologically Healthy. One may also gain more Percentage than another ).
Oké.
Seppuku & the fire.
This is how I have it in mind if I combine those two:
At first, it was like first putting myself on Fire, and than do Seppuku.
I was checking this in my head, whether it would be biologically possibly, and decided that to fully trust on that way of doing, is too optimistic.
First doing Seppuku, and than setting myself on fire, after I have drowned the oil over myself, I think is also too optimistic. This is ( inter alia ) because you wish to drive the Dagger as deep in your body as possible, towards the right Position — and cannot at the same time set yourself ablaze while your are Concentrating and doing Strain on putting the Dagger in your Body as deep as possible.
So I started to think… and this is { not was } the point where I thought, and came with a Creative solution.
What if I gather some leafs and/or/nor other fire burning-able material, and go to a remote place — or gather it straight away át the Remote place.
… I do some oil on the leafs and/or/nor other fire burning material, light it on Fire, and we have a Fire!!!
… Than I take sufficient steps back from the fire, but not tóó far away from the fire.
I Drown myself in the Oil, first. Than I try to drink some of the oil, but not too much, since I do not have the knowledge of whether it can Sabotage my further doings and form a Risk of Survival.
I take my Dagger with me, and psychologically prepare for a few seconds — possibly more, depending on the situation and what is good & safe — than, such as planned, I aim, from a distance, with the point of my Dagger pointed at my Gastric Region.
At the meanwhile I probably think:
” At the Gastric Region and than Dagger up. Like how is described at Wikipedia. ”
…
And than I have done it.
I try to walk the few steps to the fire to lighten myself and Fall Down. Finally.
I would think;
” Now with the other Factors included, I also have my Revenge. ”
If I cannot walk the few steps because of the Stab, I may still be lightened due to the fall towards the lightened Fire with Leafs and such, trying to stretch my body also.
I should think of what is the least amount of distance from the fire I should take at that moment, as well.
This can go not as planned when not sufficient distance is taken, away from the Fire.
I might still die though, only more highly plausible without the Seppuku.
,
Fieluk Ajirst
fielukajirst@gmail.com