I used to be so happy especially at school I don’t really get bullied and this year im in year 6 and I really found my true friends I was happiest at school and going to school. I’ve liked loads of guys nothing big just like fake crushes but then I really like this guy called Christian and then there was this little rumour that he like this girl in his class coz he is a year younger but the classes are really close and from what he’s said he doesn’t. but still doesn’t stop my heart from hurting and at home for the last few months things have being getting really bad I have 1 older brother and sister my brothers 16 whom I get along fine with him but my sisters 14 but only 2 years older than me and she just has to get her way or she starts yelling MUM!! DAD!! and its so annoying and she has this way of always making it my fault. I’ve never being close to my dad EVER that did effect me a lot when I was younger at school which caused me to get bullied but not anymore my mum used to be so loving the most wonderful mom but we got to her she just got sick of how rude we were which I understand we were so mean to her but were a lot better now but she’s so mean to me now not like 24/7 but when ever me and my sister fight its always me who has to go or its my fault because im annoying her she thinks that I thinks it funny to annoy my sister but I don’t she just overacts coz she a little lying brat and my mum says im a bully all the time! I haven’t really thought of suicide only a couple of time this last holidays 7 weeks ago when we were staying in an apartment 2 levels from the top and I thought you know if I jump I might be able to get into the pool and it wouldn’t hurt so much I would think that for ages as i stared down over the balcony. one night there my sister and I had this huge fight and of course ITS MY FAULT! my mum started saying I was a little brat and selfish cow and to stop ruining everyone’s holiday which nearly pushed me nearly over the edge or should I say of our balcony! its now week 7 in school and every day seems so boring I have 2 great friends whom I play with, all the girls in the class are friends coz there’s only 10 of us but some are you know the typical bit#hy type and I don’t really get along with them but everyday I don’t really have anything to look forward to anymore nothing excites me like they used like netball training ,canteen lunch , seeing my friends or my crush it all seem so dull and I feel like I don’t even want to wake in the mornings.
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Being young can be really frustrating – you have so little control over your life! You get told what to do and when to do it, and sometimes it can feel like an endless grind, doing the same thing day after day. I can’t really help with that other than to say: hang in there! It does end eventually, and you will get control over your own life and be able to choose things for yourself.
But if everything is really feeling gray and you’ve lost interest in the things you used to be excited about, it’s quite possible you’re depressed. It’s kind of hard to get help for it at your age, unless you have a supportive parent, or someone you can go to that will understand and be able to guide you to treatment. A good GP is awesome, but you might be able to try a school counsellor, or even just a teacher you trust maybe? Even without treatment, you will probably feel better at some stage, and start being interested in things again. Try and hang in there until then!
It sounds like things are really rough at home and that’s another thing that’s really hard to deal with. All you can do is try not to let it get to you. Use your friends for support when you need to, good friends will be there to listen. Sometimes, things will be unjust and there’s nothing you can do about it – just try to set the frustration aside and focus on something that can take your thoughts to a more interesting place (maybe remember a movie you’ve recently seen, and think about what might have happened to the characters afterwards, for example!)
Good luck, and I really hope things get better for you!