just venting again.. anyways.. so I just recently broke up w my gf.. it wasn’t that long of a relationship.. but it was love, and something i haven’t felt in like.. more than 5 years..
of course i fucked it up.. cuz i went all psycho on her like i did all of my ex gf’s who of course dumped me because of the same reason.. so here I am.. always caught up in my negativity.. and because of it I haven’t even finished school yet..
I look at all my other friends and my sister’s boyfriend.. they’ve got jobs, friends, and gf’s.. i can barely function socially.. i haven’t got a degree.. i can’t get a job.. and i’ve lost someone i loved because i just went nuts on her (again)
I can definitely say that I do have potential and worth.. I mean of all the girls that I’ve gotten.. I’ve gotten them.. and they were beautiful.. and the last one I had was head over heels over me.. until of course I went all psycho on her.. to say I’m dissapointed, frustrated and depressed is an understatement..
I figure once I get my life together.. and fight for a chance to be of worth in this world.. things will come into place.. and I’ll meet a great girl who’ll be awesome to be with and who I can share many things with..
A lot of positives.. but still I’m just so frustrated.. I look back when I was much younger when this “shit” started and thus I stumbled to finish school and now I’m 27 and I haven’t even finished school yet.. I feel so shitty..
I wish I could go back to the 18 year old guy I was and tell him to stay in school and forget about this depression non sense.. stay away from the meds.. but alas here I am.. I dunno I’m just venting I guess..