I am not weak

Suicide- I’ve thought of it before. They say it’s never the answer. The answer to what? To the struggle? To the pain? They’ll tell you that it gets better with time. But what if, in an attempt to make life better, or be patient, we went up messing up even more? It is really easy to give advice. But the truth is, that no one knows what we are feeling except us. We are afraid, of what life holds for us. It may be better, but it may also get worse. This ‘may’ starts us off. We can’t take the risk. Really, suicide is the easy way. Think you understand people? I’ll bet at least one of those people you describe as ‘ happy go lucky’ have contemplated suicide at least once in their life.Let’s take me for example. People know me as a serious and sensible girl. I could never do anything as ‘crazy’ as killing myself, right? Wrong. I’ve thought of it for as long as I remember. Third grade to be exact. Yeah, those girls really made my life hell. And I kind of stood up to them two years later. But now, their back, this time with their pot-smoking boyfriends, Only this time I won’t go back to just cutting. I’ll just end. End forever.

Meg Roberts fell off a cliff last year. She was raped at a party. The police said that it was an accident. Yeah, an accident. But what happened to Meg was much worse that my present situation. But that does not mean I’m not as miserable. as her. She committed suicide straight after the party. I’ve been pondering over this for the past four years.

No, I can’t talk to anyone. They won’t understand. Maybe I’d don’t understand. I can’t call a helpline. I don’t think they care , really. And definitely not my parents. My ‘friends’ will laugh . No chance on that.

Please, I’m not weak. I’m just 14, and I don’t deserve this. But I can’t hold on any longer. I won’t do it right now, but I’m pretty serious. It can’t be that hard. And it’s not like anyone will miss me.

MISSION LIFE- ABORT

Note- I’m not really going to commit suicide. I wrote this a year ago. But nothing’s changed.