I honestly hate myself more than someone could ever do 🙁 Why did i have to be born in this place and body , why do i have to suffer so much. I am not a normal person anymore, my body is starting to slowly die. I am pale and always cold, i dont go out anymore , all i do is lock myself in my dark room and barely eat anything. I am scared that it will hurt when i do it, but i decided that there is nothing left for me.
I hate looking myself at the mirror , it just reminds me of how i will never be good enough to be happy. I am so depressed that i cant even feel emotional pain anymore, i cant cry i just stopped feeling. There is absolutely no way that i can fix my life, it was ruined since the moment i was born.
I am genetically designed  for failure , everything in my life is a complete fail. Its not what i do or how i act, its who i am. My time in this world has ended and i honestly wish none ever feels the way i feel right now. I lost my soul.
Its happening soon, i am scared but i there is no turning back.
4 comments
Solitude,
we all feel that way living is a lot of the times just a bunch of shit! I agree! I’m going to check out one day myself, until then try drinking vodka and red bull and find your self a great piece of ass 🙂 it helps takes the edge of the waiting! works for me. sorry I don’t even know how old you are? until then try drinking vodka and red bull and playing with your I pod? I’m not much help am I but I hope I made you smile.
Wish u find peace.
Dear Solitude,
You write that you can not feel emotional pain anymore, and you just stopped feeling. I read this and am confused, Directly above it you listed that you are scared, Hate yourself, you are suffering, and a failure. Just because you may be desensitized to crying doesn’t mean you can’t feel. I took emotional feelings to write your post. You are not a failure, you just need some support. You have not lost your soul, you just are not looking for it! It is there.
Can you write what has happened lately?
I hope you found peace after writing this post a few years pass.