Every night, sleep is difficult. I feel so alone, which is probably the most ironic thing I’ve ever said, considering my brother is my roommate. But yeah, it’s just…impossible. It’s probably when I feel my most depressed, which is completely inexplicable, because during the day it’s pretty bad too. Bad enough to where I’m just…incapable of doing work, which somehow seems pretty nonsensical. I’m just like, “fuck this,” which is just about the ultimate recipe for failure.
I’d hang myself with a bed sheet if I knew how to properly tie a noose, and if I knew how to properly secure the other end to something (yep, I’m that bad with knots) to just end this. I don’t have a purpose; and, without a purpose, there’s no point in going on. You’ll just hit a brick wall forevermore.
I guess I’ve truthfully been depressed for at least five years. It’s just recently that this has become a big enough problem to be, well, a problem. I could win the lottery tomorrow and quite honestly not give a flying fuck. I dunno, man. Fuck me. Fuck this.
4 comments
*hugs*
i wish i had some words of wisdom for you but it seems to be that we’re going through the same damned thing. if you ever need it, i’m always willing to listen.
im in the same state.it pretty much sums up whats been happening to me. i stop caring bout sleep. bout school. my grade started getting low and my parents blew up on me. it was only 4 C’s a D- 2 B’s and 1 A. but yet they said im fucking up my life. fuck them. and ur not the only one who cant tie a knot. kinda sucks. but we continue on with our existence being indifferent to the world.
i totally know those feels!! when Im at school, i look at an assignment and think “fuck this. Im not doing this shit. i dont even care anymore” and i keep failing.
that’s my attitude towards everything and the people around me are sick of it.