I have been in a battle with myself for about 2 years. Ever since I was 9 my family has told me that I need to lose weight because im fat. Yeah a 9 year old should lose weight. I’m actually not fat at all but I’m still in a battle to lose weight. i strain myself to work out. I know what you’re thinking just find someone to talk to. Well guess what I don’t have anyone. My mom never listens to me when I try to talk to her about my day or something she completely tunes me out. She has some “mental depression issues” so therefore my life don’t matter. My dad is never there for me. all he thinks about is himself. He is so materialistic. I hardly even go visit him anymore. I cannot open up to my friends because I know they will end up telling their moms what I told them and I don’t want that. And no I will not go talk to a counselor or therapist. I’m just tired of being alone. I haven’t thought about suicide since recently. Just how I can get away from this world. Be at peace. I also hate the town I live in because everyone is stuck up and I’m not. No one knows how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep at night. Or how many times I’ve just stood in the shower and cried so no one could hear me. It has gotten so bad I just need someone. I act like I’m the happiest person in the world in front of every one but inside I’m just dying slowly. I’m just alone
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Please excuse me for being blunt – if you are content with your body and weight isn’t causing any physical difficulties then SCREW what others think about it including your parents. No, I’m not defending obesity. It is a serious problem and it affects many, many people in adverse ways. But as I said if your weight isn’t a personal issue for you then try your best to ignore the abusive family chatter. Posting here is a good start to release your feelings and I hope that you begin to feel like someone is listening.
I understand the trust issues you might have with your friends – the trick is to find someone safe that can listen and hold your talks in confidence. Believe it or not, therapists can be a huge help if you can find the right one – and usually it’s not some big-headed $200 and hour insensitive creep, sometimes it’s the ones that donate time to youth outreach, churches or schools just for the purpose of providing an ear to young people that can’t find a good and trustworthy resource elsewhere. In a nutshell, being alone is probably the worst thing for you even if it feels the safest right now. Just try not to give up on yourself.