to be honest, all what i think about now is killing myself. there is absolutely nothing good about my life. i know people have it worse, but i can’t bare with it anymore. i just want to jump in front of a car and die. i know my family will act like they miss me, but i am positive they’d be happy that i am gone. same with my friends. in fact, i don’t even have many friends. maybe 2 at the most. i just want to mean something to someone, i want to mean something to myself.
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I spend a good portion of my day fantasizing about my death, the unexpected road that led me here and the aftermath of said death. Hell, you have friends, I have no one. I get what you’re saying about having “meaning” in it all. At times, I wonder of everything I did before this point in my life really meant anything at all. I…also feel conflicted with myself in that…I find no possible “thing” with meaning within my own soul.
You’re not alone in having this train of thought.
You can always email me. Being blind and all, I can kinda relate with you on the no friends deal. I’ve experienced it before. So I know what it is like.
Feel fre to email me. I’ll listen and always respond. My email is: brl.cents@gmail.com
I don’t have many friends either. I am blessed enough to have a girlfriend who cares, even though we fight 24/7, and a family who cares for me even though they always yell and scold me. They always nag but I can see it in there eyes. They do care for me in their own weird way. So I guess I’m lucky to be a meaning for my family, even if my only purpose in life is to take out the trash and clean.
Please listen.
Your family will not be happy when your gone. People care, people will cry and some will die Inside if you were to die.
You do mean something to people. You just need to look around.
But you should live life to mean somthing to yourself. Thats all what matters in the end is yourself. So live for yourself and find your own meaning.
Take care