My depression has been beyond bad for the past two weeks. I don’t think there’s been more than a 3 hour period where I didn’t think about ending it…ending life. And today, I’ve hit a new low. Not only did I make a mistake that I don’t remember doing, I’m being fired for it. I lost my job that provided my housing and most of my food. I now have to tell my bosses at my other job how much of a screw-up I am and move back home to face my parents. In my family, you don’t quit and you do everything 1000% to avoid being fired. I am the ultimate disappointment. As if that weren’t enough, I find myself constantly running over when the mistake happened in my head. I don’t remember doing what they said I did. Am I going crazy? I am losing my memory, my drive, my ambition. I am losing who I am. Who am I, now? What am I? I am fading away and there is nothing that I can grab to pull myself back.
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My heart goes out to you, that’s an awful situation. I’m here to talk.
One point though. Can they just fire you like that? Where I live you have to first receive multiple warnings or do something constituting gross misconduct.
You’re clearly employable enough to have had two jobs, you’ll be able to get back on your feet.
From what you’ve said it sounds as though there is as much chance your former employer is gas lighting you; as there is you not remembering what you ‘did’.
I can understand your situation. I commend you for being employed in the first place. Depression can suck the life out of you. Literally. I left my job… stupid move, but I wasn’t healthy. Right now I’m at my lowest… I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up…
Are you in the US? In most states, you can be fired without notice or reason (unless you have a specific contract, I assume). My last two jobs made me sign paperwork to that effect — I assumed that if I didn’t sign, I wouldn’t be hired.
We have similar laws but realistically, they can fire anyone for any reason. They are not legally required to reveal why they fired someone unless it’s suspected to be one of the areas protected by law. However, it’s not difficult to lie.
It’s not easy. I was accused of knowingly taking a set of keys of which I could access many different buildings. I set our complex on alert because of having the keys. I don’t know how I had them. I remember giving them back but I found them in my pack. I don’t remember anything after “returning the keys.” But, I am fired regardless.
Ghostboy: I’ve been there. Hell, I am there. I know that it doesn’t mean much coming from a computer screen but somewhere…you have to get mad. Being mad at myself..being mad at allowing myself to become nothing…Being mad gave me the drive to continue making myself better. If I couldn’t make myself better, I could at least make others’ lives better until I no longer had any drive. Since then, I’ve done great things. It’s not a permanent fix, obviously, but it helps.
I’m very sorry to hear that, keep us posted on how things go. You’ll be in my thoughts.