December 4th 2014

On the 4th of December this year I will eliminate myself. My Father also died that day (how fitting) never knew him though. I’ve given myself 6 months to prepare. Not to contemplate it but get my shit in order. Need to save some money, so that I can go to whatever location of my choice. Will possibly spent my last hours on this Earth somewhere near the ocean or the forest. Somewhere I’ll finally be at peace. Have thought about suicide for 6 years now. Failed 3 times. But I shall not this time. People think suicide is such an irrational and crazy thing to do… but it’s not. A lot of thought goes into it. Atleast I have a goal now. A reason to get out of bed in the morning. Cause I know… it will soon be over. I’ve dealt with this illness for far too long. Bipolar Depression won. It devoured me. Life isn’t for everyone. Some people are not of this Earth. Who knows, my next life might be 1% better than this miserable existence I’ve been living these 19 years. I’ve always said, life should just be a oneday event. We only should experience it for on day. That would be bliss. All these unknown amount of years we are given is unnecessary. So.. okay.