happiness on the outside

I know exactly how you feel, I too in hindsight have absolutely nothing to complain about.. In the field of study I love, good friends and a family who loves me. Yet I still feel hopeless. As though these feelings I have are trapped within me and there is nothing to do but stop living, it may be the only escape. I have found that however there are several other escapes that I can use rather that ending it all… I find writing my feelings down everyday helps, telling someone anonymously so you know you are not the only one feeling borderline bat crazy! If you used to walk past me on the street or were even were one of my closest friends you would not know I felt like this, everyday being a struggle and never truly happy. I put up a brave front so as to not upset those closest to me. But that doesn’t help. I told my friend, turns out she has depression too… She text me several months later about suicide and I talked her out of it… It seems crazy to think neither of us would have known that about each other and I never would of been able to help her if I didn’t speak up. I’ve stopped living in denial and just accepted the fact that I am like this and that I need help and to be honest i don’t care who knows I’m like this.