When I am upset or seriously depressed I listen to music. Hateful and sad. Maybe that isn’t the best thing to do but after I get passed all of the crying and cutting, and panic attacks, I feel great again. My mother saw my scars for the first time today. I have always been so good at hiding them. I can’t believe I was not paying attention. I feel terrible for that. It isn’t her fault. It’s everyone else’s. I really want to speak to her about it but I am so scared. What if she does not love me anymore. My father used to have to take me to the hospital for my cuts because I have had to get stitches in my sides. Dad didn’t really care because he doesn’t give a crap about me but I know my mother does. I don’t know what to do or say or explain why the are upon my arms and all over the rest of my body… My friends are always trying to tell me to eat or to see a doctor. What they don’t know is that I do see doctors.. I have a serious problem with being scared about the way people treat me. I used to never care. Now that’s all I worry about. I care what you think too. It’s not just a family or friend thing.. Please take that into consideration.