every single time someone looked me in the eyes and asked me why I couldn’t do it, I would tell them it was because of you. I couldn’t imagine putting you through that. I never wanted you to have to worry about me. I was suppose to take care of you, I was suppose to be the one burying you, in many, many years. but here I am, the rope already tied. I’m going to use the chair I’m sitting on, it’s from the kitchen table I hope you don’t mind.
don’t blame yourself because you did everything you could. and please don’t mourn because we know I don’t deserve it. I know you said it was selfish, and I know you may hate me for awhile, but know I love you with all my heart. and every single time you look in to the sky, I’ll be looking down on you. I’ll never stop protecting you.
I tried so hard, and I fought for so long but the demons won.
tell daddy to be strong
ill tell grandma you say hi.