Feeling overwhelmed, meds are working perhaps but not really. I don’t believe in meds, I’ll take em so i feel like I’m doing something but moving has helped. I’m in my own place now. nervous at the cost, nervous at the waste of space that it is to be in a one bedroom or for me to exist. Anxious that i will fail, always on the verge, always begging for death to pre-empt that so that folks can smile and admire how hard i worked and not how hard i fell. Nerves getting the best of me. I can’t focus, don’t want to focus. I’m not enough to help this all. I can’t really do any of this. I can’t.
Feeling sorry for my self while people are dying out there. I’ll probably be fine, or at least I’ll still be alive for a bit.
Take care of yourselves.
1 comment
Just wanted to congratulate you on all that you are doing in the face of your anxiety. Taking your meds, living on your own, sticking around- that’s huge!
I noticed some of your comments around today, they seemed so kind and encouraging. Though they weren’t directed at me I thought you should know they brightened my day.
I’m sorry that you’re overwhelmed with existence. It’s hard to remember that we’re so much more than any of our failures.
Anyway please take care of yourself too. 🙂 from one nameless queer to another