Need An Outlet

If you don’t like to hear ranting, this isn’t the post for you. Like the title suggests, I just needed an outlet where my father couldn’t read and use my words against me.

So, I learned of my acceptance as a university employee back in March of this year. I told my father that I would be getting an apartment and that I would do this and that. Well by April, I had moved in and gotten settled. I realized that the university hadn’t provided certain things like they had originally said they would. The only thing I really care about is the couch. I was told that my apartment would be completely furnished. I have a bed, night stand, and dresser. Fine. I don’t really care about the living room being completely unfurnished. I have furniture at home (a state away) that I can use. So, I dialed up my dad and asked if I would be able to take the futon downstairs in my brothers room. It is technically mine (I purchased it) but everyone used it. He agreed and said he’d bring it up  that weekend. This was in April.

Every week, it was the same stupid story. Oh, this came up and we have to do this. Oh, your brother got a dog and he’s out traveling the whole United States and we have to watch him. Every week, I was being put on the back burner. Meanwhile, I’m sitting in my empty ass apartment waiting for furniture that I have no access to. I realize how stupid and petty this is but I don’t really care. I’m not mad about not having the furniture. I am making do with what I’ve got but I can’t tell you how much it hurts to be deemed as less important than a dog that my brother irresponsibly got. My brother travels 5 out of 7 days a week, every week. Why the hell did he get a dog if he wouldn’t be home to care for it? Now, it’s my busy season and I called my father to tell him that it was too late. He’d have to wait until mid to late September to bring the futon and other furniture. I told him this back in July that I would be getting busy after the first week of August. I don’t know what he expected.

Now, he is pissed and it’s my fault that he has so much pressure on him to get the futon up by the end of this weekend when he has so much to do. My father is retired…So, after 4 months of waiting….124 days, he couldn’t find 6 hours to come up to see me with the furniture. 124 days…It takes 2 1/2 hours to drive here from one way. 5 hours round trip….add in an hour for unloading and goodbyes…I guess things never change and he will always see me as the child he never wanted…the child he would never be proud of…the child who will never compare to his two amazing business saavy sons.

His sons work every day to rip off people of their money buying and selling things that people don’t want/need. I work every day to bring happiness and peace to as many people as I can. I’ve saved lives…I’ve changed my community for the better. Instead of decaying, we are now growing thanks to citizen centers, personal growth workshops, and community service. I am a humanitarian. But I will never do any better than his precious sons…they can do no wrong because they have money and status and i’m just a bottom tier worker. I’d rather stay with the slaves than work for the corrupt. People always say that you can’t choose your family. They are wrong. By blood he may be my father but blood doesn’t support a soul. A real father is there for all his children, blood or not. He supports them and never shows favoritism. I guess I never really had a father.