I have friends traveling out of the country, going to the beach, road trips, enjoying summer and life, having summer romances, Having great summer jobs and internships. I am just here sitting on my ugly, single and fat ass sweating bad enough that its dripping down my thighs, with family drama all around, broke as hell cant find a summer job that will call me back for an interview, So I cant really travel anywhere, I am miserable as hell in my online summer classes to the point i want to jump out of my bedroom window. Someone please just put me out of my […]
I need a suicide date. date as in, day, not some weird romantic fetish.. But i guess I’ll decide on that later.
I’ve been pushed over the edge now. I don’t have motivation to run away. I don’t have motivation to look for new people or friends. I’ve tried talking and meeting to countless online friends. Some i have pushed away..
I’m done. I can’t do this.
I’ll let you know when i decide on a date.
Thank you Chordful, Kat, Sportsballs, Fakingit.. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.
I wont ever leave without a proper goodbye.
I’d write more, but tears are like burning my eyes.. Is that […]
For almost 2 years, I’ve felt this way because I live beside toxic neighbours and my uncle doesn’t listen to me to be careful of being taken advantage of. How? Simple. They threaten to sue us, get us fine and arrested for “Distribing The Peace” from the back up alarm installed on my uncle’s car. People sue for almost anything now a days no matter how ridiculous it may seem. There are various type of prices for back up alarm sold online and in-stores. Intially, it was installed […]
Just a post to say thank you to the awesome dudes/girls who replied to my first post and helped me out. I am truly grateful that you cared enough to reply and offer me support and sympathy. And especially for not preaching the feel good bullshit that is on 99% of help sites online.
I kind of feel as if I’ve hit a point in life, as if I am waking up to who I really am. It is terrifying but I have to be me. No matter how I am on the outside, my soul and brain are still me. It’s time for me to […]
So today I was online talking with people and everyone is having a nice conversation and then there is this one person that comes in. He/she all of a sudden are doing a role-play thing about committing suicide. He/she was writing about grabbing a knife and all. And here’s the thing that bothers me the most, he/she is not one bit suicidal (I asked one of his/her friends to see of he/she really was) Um… excuse me!? What the fuck is wrong with you!? There are people who are really suicidal and he/she is over here using it as entertainment. He/she is probably even using […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
has become more complicated. Face-to-face communication used to be vital, but now we can live our lives being online all day.
However, the truth of the matter is, we still need to see each other’s faces, read their expressions, hear their voices, so we can fully understand their emotions.
To coexist.
I haven’t had anyone do my taxes yet, as this week’s already been planned out for me, so I have to wait for next week to see if I can get one of the free spots for doing taxes. I tried to do it online and found that I’d owe $1000 to federal and $200 to the state, and why I don’t fucking know. It makes no sense. My boss says I make too little for taxes to be taken from my checks, so the gov won’t take anything week to week but expect $1000 in a lump fucking sum at the end of the […]
So I’ve been absent from this site for awhile. I’ve been busy clearing out my shit and NO WAY IN HELL would I have imagined what a heap of junk I’ve accumulated; I actually wish I had a huge pit of fire to throw it all into lol..I know this is something I have to do or I’ll feel like I’ve left a mess behind and I believe that would fuk me over if there is an afterlife..I’m just covering all my angles here. ITS STRESSFUL as for some reason I still have attachments to some of the junk but at the same time I’m […]
Im so alone i have no friends at all not even online friends, ive had some online friends but that was a while ago. I cant remember the last time ive connected to anyone irl. I dont have very good social skills irl and im fucking shy as hell. Ive been in school since oct and have not made a single friend. I miss those 1 to 1 human interactions its so hard to go on everyday
It would seem that all of my plans and hope for a bearable future failed today, I wont bother with going further into details on this. I happened to have a meeting with my psychiatrist right after I figured that out and I just opened up and said that I cannot go on like this. I have to start preparations, my computer, hard drives, my room itself.. my online people.. things must be erased, those who knew me a little deserve to be informed if I go.. And now I am awaiting a call from an “emergency team” I don’t know what this means.. […]
I have an event to go to on Tuesday and it’s kind of a big deal. I’m getting an award. But my producing partner just had her marriage of 10 years blow up and instantly started jumping into rebound sex with some actor who she plans to take to the red carpet event.
I should mention that she’s pretty damn attractive. Tall, thin, blonde, straight… she’s going to look great.
And here I am now not wanting to go because I’m going to be stag, and I’ve never hated my body more than I do right now.
So here I am genuinely looking online to find a non-sexual […]
So, I’ve kinda figured out how to get some drugs online using Tor (I think…lol). Think I’ll go away sometime next month. Maybe go to California, go to some amusement parks and then poof. I’m out of this shit hole
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/testing-waters-mp3.mp3
.
Thank you to everyone who took some time to comment on my post last night. I was in a dark rotten place. (As you can see if you read through the comments.) I’m still there, to be honest, but at least I’m still able to write about it.
Here’s the music I mentioned. (Headphones recommended so the bass can come through better).
I wrote it in just a few hours, to distract myself from not being able to get online. For me, when I’m stuck here in bed at home, not being able to get online is a big deal, because it sort […]
Anyone have any ideas for social interaction online? I mean a place that placates to the mentally ill, but is already well established. I just want to talk to some people, my social issues are too much to handle in real person, and I am just kinda lonely.
Any tips would be appreciated.
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.
Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; […]
My mom’s friend that she works with is actually closer to my age and it turns out she went through same thing with student loans that I have and she owed the school money too. She even dropped out of school for the same reason as me since she has depression too and she has scars on her arms too.
I owe the school over $4,000 since I dropped out plus student loans. It turns out that if I pay the collection agency 5% of that $4,000 they will turn it over back to the college and if I pay payments on it for 9 months […]
I have mentioned many times how I have been in love with this girl for so long. I also posted quite recently about how I have finally gotten over her and have felt like I can comfortably have relationships now that I am no longer in love with her. She messaged me a couple of days ago and damn, i’m back. How can I be so in love with a girl. She messages me and I light up right away and message her right back. I am evem expecting a letter in the mail from her. We’ve been exchanging letters since freshman year. […]
I’ve just spent 30 minutes trying to post a comment. I kept getting logged out every time I attempted to post and then my password was not accepted so I had a new password sent to my email and logged in again. Still could not post a comment so I rebooted my PC and logged in again and attempted to post again over and over and then got a pop up message saying I was posting too many comments too quickly. I can not see any of my comments in the normal view or the pending section. So I’ll post my comment to the Prozac […]
7 cups of tea is a new website I recently stumbled upon. It’s been somewhat therapeutic for me….Only critique I’ve got is there a bit to positive….there are a few too many shiny happy people on there but they’re pretty easy to dodge.
Albert camos
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