I settled on a plan a few months ago, but I neglected to scope out where exactly to do it. That should keep me busy next week. The fire department being alerted / arriving in time is the only thing that scares the shit out of me.
Do you guys think it’s better to die sober or totally fucked up? It seems more respectful to do it sober for some reason…? I have a lot of oxycodone left over from surgery that I could take with some booze beforehand, though.
4 comments
sober is respectful but fucked seems more fun and tru to myself
make the decision sober, and then get wasted. Makes it easier to pass away peacefully
I would do anything to make it as easy as possible – such a hard decision to make in the first place, why make it any harder?
I’ve thought alot about this too. My conclusion: intoxicated is better. because:
a) You won’t remember any of it after you’re dead so why try and make the last moments extra sacred and special by being sober? Also if you’re throwing away your entire life, what does it matter if you’re intoxicated at the end?
b) Make it kinder and easier on yourself – no matter how much we want to die doing the act is always super emotional and (for me) teary – why make it harder on myself? I know I want to not exist. It’s just I get sad when it comes to the act. Why be sad? Better to be off my head.
c) My last suicide attempt I was apparently acting out on the pills (apparently they made me delirious enough to call the emergency services and call myself – I have the recording and I’m off my head and making general chit chat). When I don’t remember that episode at all. When I regained consciousness I still wished I was dead. So all that being bonkers didn’t mean anything to me and it seemed I was pretty happy. Would have been a good way to die. Also – it makes me realise – we won’t remember anything when we die so why care so much about processing everything soberly at the end?