How Do I Fix This?

Hi, My name is Mary Jean.  I have this small problem, well I guess you could say it isn’t small. I have been trapped in a world of self harm and self hate for nearly 4 years. The biggest reason is the huge rumors going around that I can’t ever seem to stop. They all keep asking me if I’m pregnant, which can’t possibly be true.. because I’m a lesbian. Shocker.. right? This girl named Caytlin has been helping me through my problems since the beginning of this school year. I’m head over heels for her and I know that she is, or at least was head over heels for me as well. She asked me to be her girlfriend 15 days ago. I completely rejected her and I was in complete denial. I have no idea currently what to do. She hasn’t spoken a word to me since then and I’m terrified to text her, call her, or even look her way. She’s stunning, the light of my life and I wouldn’t be here today without her. I guess my biggest problem, is how do I ask her for my forgiveness or even ask her to by my girlfriend?