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im such a *****

by Jumper97

I want to kill myself and once I’m in the act of doing so, I freeze and I cant? Why can’t I be one of the people that get hit and runned and shot by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why can’t I own a gun and place the cold metal barrel to the side of my head and with a slight movement…end it all; for once and for all. Do I pity my mom and feel sorry that all her children bring her disappointed and frustration is that it and ending myself make it hit rock bottom? Im tired and sad, im lonely and unloved and unwanted, im a failure, a worthless and useless piece of shit, im sick in tired of waking up every morning to the thought of wanting to end it all.

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6 comments

Paranoid guy 12/21/2014 - 4:33 am

I know what you mean man I feel the same I lost everything all my friends my reputation is ruined I am an embarrassment. I just wish I could die.

theWhispersOfMySins 12/21/2014 - 5:16 am

Maybe you can’t cause you still have hope life will get better? You worry about your mom but say you are unloved and unwanted. Do you really feel she doesn’t love or want you?

cloudlover0482 12/21/2014 - 6:02 am

Because suicide isn’t an easy thing to do, otherwise we’d all be dead by now. Also, owning a gun won’t make it any easier for you. You’re doing a good thing by venting all your problems. It’s good to let that out. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Hang in there buddy.

Randall 12/21/2014 - 10:10 am

Yup, I hear you…hear you well.

YouSoftGrungeFuck 12/21/2014 - 10:23 am

im the same way… i had a shit ton of pills i was going to swallow over the summer. pussied out :/

blue.rose 12/21/2014 - 3:24 pm

I understand how you feel I constantly think about killing myself too. I plan it out all well, however when it comes to doing I stop dead in what I am doing and think about the very few such as my best friend or someone who as been close to me and think about I would be selfish to those people to have them loose a friend or how I might miss some sort of opportunity of how my life could finally get better or other people who will actually love me for me. Pain and suffering is a part of life all people go through some more than others, however in the end it will get better. It’s like some people say stars can only shine in darkness, so hang in there friend because you are star shining in darkness for others to admire you for not falling into it.

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