First, I fully admit that this is childish and stupid, but it pisses me the hell off, so I’m going to write about it. (In retrospect, I think I got mad about the same thing last year – there’s a fucking suprise.)
Friday was my birthday. As with every other year, no one remembered other than my parents. (Which I am grateful for – they’re getting up there in years and my mom is terminally ill, so it meant a lot.) But, what makes me mad is that I have “friends”. I call these friends, I try to be there, to listen, to help out, etc. and I remember their birthdays, anniversaries and all that… but no one ever remembers mine. And these people have been friends for a long time – one for over 20 years. I was in the room when her mom died and was there to help her out as much as possible with the funeral, etc. so I would think that is a close relationship…. maybe. Shit, it is for me. Surely I am missing something here.
So what is this shit? I have come to the conclusion that I am forgettable, so maybe I’m not as good of a friend to these people as I thought I was. Could be a my-bad going on here.
And god forbid I somehow grow enough proverbial balls to off myself, wonder if anyone would notice? As a side note (or side rant), has anyone else noticed that no one really gives a flying fuck until you attempt to or seriously threaten to off yourself? Then it’s rally around the flag time until they get you to drug up and shut up… problem “solved”. What horseshit.
But, back to original rant.
I don’t want or need anything, don’t want gifts, don’t want to go to dinner, etc… but it would be nice if just one fucking year someone would just fucking say happy birthday. It takes very little energy and does not deplete the ozone, and it means a lot to the person you say it to. Bonus!
In the mean time on my birthday, I’ll keep getting intoxicated, ordering pizza, and watching South Park or football, whatever is on… and I’ll try not to be pissed off.
But for this year, I’m fucking pissed.
Thanks for listening.
6 comments
I guess this portends to how you would define a friend….it is soooo soooo hard to find a true friend….i’ve been here 30 years now, I am blessed to say I have 2 people i could call on for anything, and they would be there in 2 shakes, no questions asked…..this is a very rare thing though, and it has taken me quite some time to find these people…i have “Friday” friends, just like anyone….anyways, i’m getting off track, what i’m trying to convey with all this blather, is, basically, you cant count too much on “friday” friends, which is not to say they dont care about you, or dont value your friendship, just sometimes things such as special days slip people’s minds, especially in this ego-centric, self supplicating time we find ourselves in……sometimes it’s hard to speak to people we care for, when we feel they have slighted us in some way, for fear of sounding melodramatic or whiney, so instead we end up letting slip passive aggressive comments, which could further alienate you from you social/peer/support group….as a self proclaimed sinner with suicidal tendencies, i think i should point out i am no where close to being a person who should be doling out advice…..but…..if it were me, i’d hit up ur friend(s) and just tell them straight up “hey, it kind of hurt that you forgot my birthday…..i’m not trying to lay any guilt on ya, n i totally understand it’s kind of an easy thing to forget, considering i didn’t remind yall it was comin up (did u?, or did u let em know /w a few carefully placed subtle hints it was inportant to you? bc some ppl prefer ppl to ignore their bdays entirely), i’ll own that, i just wanted to let u know how i feel about it, bc if i dont, it’ll just fester inside me and i’ll make it way bigger than it actually is, and i dont want that to happen bc i really like chillin /w ya…i wasnt expecting a gift or anything, but maybe next year if i remember to remind you a month or 2 b4, maybe you could try to remember?(i dont know if you’re this way, but i know if a friend of mine does something that makes me feel disrespected, or hurt, even if i know that wasnt their intention, and i dont call em on it {in a grown up way, and not spoken in anger, sometimes not right away but after i’ve had some time to chill out} eventually i’ll end up damaging the friendship way more by not saying something)
if you want, maybe sometime we could binge watch some netflix (or whatever) n drink beer 2gether while emailing back n forth, in celabration of your…..(age?) birthday…..cathy arsis on fb, quartney_stack@yahoo.com….oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I know it cant mean much comin from a stranger, but how you feel affects me, n i know that’s stupid, ur just another anonymous sad person, but idk, i guess your post feels kinda relatable to me….n i dont think ur stupid or shallow or egocentric for feeling this way, n yer right, it’s not to much to ask for a kind word or 2 on your birthday, n i bet it was just an honest slip o memory on their part…dont take it too hard
Happy birthday (even if it was on friday). Pizza, southpark and booze sounds like a great way to spend a birthday (last year i slept all day since i was depressed, the year before that i got surgery… goes to show how much it means to me lol). The thing is, there’s a lot of people that dismiss birthdays as just another day, my family usually does that (and i started doing the same). If it really bothers you that friends don’t remember your bday stop greeting them on theirs… bet you they’ll remember yours next time if they really care haha.
yeah, that could work, but…..it’s a bit passive aggressive….but funny still
I know exactly how you feel, just had this conversation with my brother the other day. It was my birthday and not one **** wished me happy birthday. Its not that I really give a shit but then I do makes me feel really alone. But who cares I had a great birthday by myself like always at the beach and drunk as a skunk ain’t no better way to spend your birthday in my opinion. But not even one happy birthday on fucked up Facebook I know my birthday pops up on there so you know what fuck them all no birthday wishes for anyone anymore or being a good friend if there’s nothing in for me well fuck them I’m over being used and only talked to when somebody needs something cunts are going to wish they wished me happy birthday but its to late get out of my life no more help or being there for no one.
Sorry bout the rant but yeah this shit upset me to though I don’t know why? Just good to feel appreciated I guess and that someone remembers and cares….. Anyways
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you got really intoxicated and enjoyed your pizza, that’s a good day I say.
For what it’s worth, I can completely relate to this and agree with you. I feel you have every right to be upset and angry and don’t consider this post “childish” or “stupid” at all. You have every right to expect that people you have been a good friend to could at least remember your birthday.
Things like this annoy and upset me as well. It’s not a good feeling at all.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)