My mother’s boyfriend hanged himself ten months ago.
I didn’t saw him, but for ten months, I’ve been having nightmares every single night. About him, or about hanging myself. I still think about him every day.
Things were really bad before he killed himself. But now, he just left a hell.
He was a good man. He was generous and kind. But he just cared to much about everything. Any small critic, any argument would drown him. Every thing that he couldn’t afford would make him anxious.
Yes, he was depressed, but no one thought that he was suicidal. And one morning… the surprise.
I try not to blame him. I try to understand. And sometimes I do. But I’m just so furious because all the.mess that he left behind…
So now, my mother started to drink. And she mixes alcohol with antidepressives. I don’t know what to do, how to help her.
I just can’t deal with that.
2 comments
She should get therapy and find someone new. That’s also my concern-when I go or someone in my life, how that will negatively affect others.
Life can be very cruel, but ultimately everyone is responsible for their own life and what they choose to do with it. Those ‘left behind’ must go on without that person.
My life has been rough/though earlier on things were really good for me. Now however I face the prospect of my older parents dying off….I’m just imagining losing one of my siblings, which would be like me disappearing for one of them. My step-mother nearly died a few years ago from suicide. There are things I hated about here but generally she was a good person and I’m glad she’s still around, she makes life complete for my father.
In some ways I don’t want to end my life, so I try to find ways to make life better for myself but deep down I don’t really care that much anymore about anything or anyone. I know if I let those thoughts take over or if my life gets much worse, then I will ‘take my leave’ and end it. For now I’m still trying to ‘get ahead’ but I’ve lost a lot of my ambition and drive so I’m stuck in a rut.
I really feel for you. I know what its like to lose someone and all the emotions you must be going through.
I remember the nightmares and total hatred I felt at times. I swear if she wasn’t dead for the pain she had caused I would have killed her myself…..
I don’t know what culture you are, or your beliefs but it was like our family was all haunted and nobody could sleep for months after her death. It was like she was still there, and she was……. She spoke through a physic healer and told us everything, she needed to in order to move on….
I’m no religious nut and I don’t believe in God, though I do believe in a higher source. But did you bless the place where he hung himself? Is he still there lingering around? I only ask because it was only then that we done this, is when the nightmares and hurting stopped…
She moved on and we had to carry on with living. I tell you its not the dead who truly die at all it is the living.
Sorry I forgot the point getting to emotional now. I just hope you know your not alone. xx