So why continue the relationship? From one day to the next. Thank you for beautiful relationship, goodbye. WTF? How am I supposed to react to that? How am I supposed to breath after that? I’ve tried calling lots of therapist today in hopes of seeing someone, all of them say leave a message and they will get back to me. Thanks for nothing. I feel like I’m never going to be okay. I’m never going to get back to me. Whatever small shell of that I had in the first place. I thought I had finally gotten it right and then bam the wind is kicked out of me. Part of me knew it was to good to be true, the other shoe was going to drop. I feel like my insides are melting inside my chest.
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I’m currently in pain for many reasons but one is also from the heart. I can’t understand it either.
But I ve been thinking (a lot lately, as nothing makes sense – besides crying to sleep) and one of my zillions of conclusions is if you had relationships before, we always think the current breakup is the worst one of our entire lives. maybe our brains are blocking the feelings from the last breakups, when we thought we had a chance to be happy and it wasnt quite what happened.. again and again. I also don’t see when I’m gonna feel better and honestly I feel like I will never recover but I did recover before. When love was my only problem. Now it’s another story.