Taking away their pillar of “investment’

There’s nothing interesting or worthwhile about my life. Heard the same old bullshit story over and over and I’m done. I really don’t care about the people who are my friends. Never had a real friend who understood me, and I’m way past trying to find one. Thanks to my childhood being raised by a clueless ***** mother who doesn’t know the first thing about seeing to a child’s healthy emotional/mental development, I don’t give a fuck about others. Whether or not I’m bored, I think about ending my life cause this one is just a waste of time.

Ppl always tell you you shouldn’t kill yourself just to spite others cause that’s like punishing yourself for something wrong that someone else did. But what’s funny is, I don’t care about it either way. I want to escape my shit hole of a life, so it’s a win win for me. I don’t feel bad. I stopped feeling guilty for making my parents worry about me a long time ago, when I figured out that I’m nothing more than an investment to them – to them, I don’t have feelings, or personal likes/dislikes. I’m just a means to an end, so that they’ll be ‘taken care of’ once they’re decrepit and old. So they won’t get put in a home.

Hah, I openly joke about suicide in front of my mom. She hasn’t figured it out yet. What a dumb *****.

I don’t even give a shit if I ‘stick around’ as a ghost to see their reactions if I ever choose to kill myself. I’m done. Never looking back. They can weep all the fuck they want, especially that stupid, tyrant, immature, nasty ***** of a mom I got. I’m gonna laugh at them.

I often thought about writing a long ass suicide note, detailing every single thing they did wrong that made me grow up to be the unmotivated, anxiety-ridden, depressed, sarcastic, pessimistic, don’t-give-a-fuck, antisocial, shizoid-like ***** that I am. Make them see that everything that they wish I could but I DIDN’T turn out to be is because of the way they raised me (or didn’t raise me). Make them fucking hurt, especially that *****. Let her cry until her eyes bleed raw. I’ll be long gone and she can sleep knowing that the 23 year old ‘investment’ she’s planning to lean on once she gets old is nothing more than a rotting corpse at the bottom of a river.