Ever been so desperate for a change that you jumped head first into a bucket of bleach? Yeah. I got to that point. Desperately needed something new. What is it about small changes that makes me feel better for a little while? Why does that seem to hold me over for a few days? Its still me. So why does it make such a big difference in my attitude for a short time? I feel okay today. Even after waking up to heartbreaking news. I feel strong. Even after he played me… Again… I feel okay. I’m just scared of what the next couple of days will bring.. Why can’t this feeling last? Okay is enough for me. Okay is better than the norm. I want to remain okay.
13 comments
No offence, but you are young and beautiful. You should not cry about boys and stuff. I’ve been fighting for girls my whole life and they always dumped me, no matter how hard I try and stuff..they will always find something better or find something wrong with you. I’m in depression and I might kill myself this year. That’s the thing with girls, they only love the guys that fuck them and leave them and nice guys kill themselves. Get attitude, stop letting him control you..but I am sure that whatever I say you will still love him.
You are so beautiful… God damn it! WHY DO GIRLS EXIST!?
Thanks. I wish it were as simple as just some guy. We were together for 2 years and engaged before shit hit the fan.
I’m sure you’re great. Don’t let stupid people get to you.
i am always desperate to do something like that.
btw your name is an hindi name which means you are from india and you have blonde hair which are really very uncommon among indians. is your one parent/ gandfather/ grandmother/ greatgrandfather / greatgrandmother was a foreigner?
No. Just a bit of Irish somewhere down the line. I didn’t know that about my name, though. I’ll have to ask about it if I get the chance.
sry i did mistake. your name is being used in many different countries.
You said something that caught my interest. You said making little changes makes you feel better temporarily. That reminded me of my ex-fiancée. She always used to do that. Make changes. She said she was always bored with things looking the same.
For example, she would rearrange the furniture in a room, over and over, until she was back to the way it was originally. She said the changes made her feel better, but it would never last for long. She would feel bored again soon enough.
I always wondered why she did that, as I liked having things remain constant. That was my comfort. And hers was changing them.
And now she has changed me forever.
It’s just a feeling of remaining stagnant. Like being stuck in a rut that’s too deep to crawl out of. You can claw at the dirt all you want, but you won’t escape. The only way to make yourself feel better is to draw on the walls.
I feel the same.
It’s not any of my business but what the fuck is wrong with this world. If I had a beautiful girl like you I was like my life is now complete and I don’t need a fucking thing. But some people don’t know to apreciate what they have…
You’re far too kind, Costy. Thank you.
Before I go , I would like to say that you are very kissy. The last time that I am complimating a girl. Those nails fit perfect with your pale skin and the makeup is awesome. Fuck my life…
Aw. Thanks. Don’t give up! Not all girls are bad! Just.. Most of us.