Ever been so desperate for a change that you jumped head first into a bucket of bleach? Yeah. I got to that point. Desperately needed something new. What is it about small changes that makes me feel better for a little while? Why does that seem to hold me over for a few days? Its still me. So why does it make such a big difference in my attitude for a short time? I feel okay today. Even after waking up to heartbreaking news. I feel strong. Even after he played me… Again… I feel okay. I’m just scared of what the next couple of days will bring.. Why can’t this feeling last? Okay is enough for me. Okay is better than the norm. I want to remain okay.