It makes me very sad thinking about dying, but it makes me even more sad thinking about carry on surviving this life day after day… I can’t deal anymore with this pain, pain for the things I lost (my love, my family, my self esteem, my happiness) and pain for the regret that it was all my fault. It was all my fault and I could have avoided it easily. I am just weak and unwise.
The things that is stopping me from ending this agony are the consequences for those who will stay. How can I do something like that to my family? I already did too much to my parents, I destroyed their happiness forever, now if I kill myself I think they’re gonna follow me.
But may stop care about that? After all, once I am gone I won’t have feelings anymore… Can I be selfish and stop to care about my feelings for people I love, just for the time I need to commit suicide and return to nothingness where I came from?
3 comments
Okay here is what ACTUALLY word selfish means:
Selfish is when you care about what you want your ideals and wishes and ignoring everyone’s else.
Is it selfish when i think about myself?
No
Is it selfish when i work on myself instead trying to help others?
No
Is it selfish when feel sorry for myself?
No!
What is selfish then?Give me an example.
You can be selfish when you take something for yourself but you know that you don’t need it and ignore the person who despredly needs it.
When someone tells you to go pick that apple for them and when you return to them you start eating that apple and not care about what they want (If they asked you nicely not ordered like a jerk)
The point is that caring only about yourself and your needs and never think about others.Thinking about yourself your problems and even suicide is NOT selfish.Get that in your head.
I know exactly how you feel. The answer to your question is yes and no. It is selfish on both sides. But in the end, we can only control our own actions, not anybody else’s. I, too, worry about my parents. They will be devastated when I die. But I can’t stay here any longer just to not hurt them. Because my pain is just too strong. It is constant and unending. So I have to go away forever to end it. I hope my parents and other loved ones can cope with my loss. I’m just done.
I guess your parents won’t be able to cope with it. So won’t mine. We cannot let them take it… I don’t know what to do. I wish I could switch off my feelings.