Alright so yesterday during my third class period of the day, a CPS worker came and talked to me. We talked about my home life and if I feel safe being there. My mom’s boyfriend is in to drugs and drinking and when he’s high/drunk he likes to argue. Sometimes he’ll just be obnoxious and loud, other times he’ll get physical with my mom and stuff. What pissed me off was when she said on the report that it was mentioned that I cut myself. So she had to take a picture of me and of my arm and brought up that I was molested when I was little. (I didn’t come out about that til last year so it’s still very hard for me to talk about).
After school I went home with my teacher because she was taking me to church an I was going to spend the night. My mom’s boyfriend tried calling me to talk about the whole CPS thing, but I isn’t answer his calls or text messages. My mom called me and was yelling at me that I still cut myself and was telling me she was going to send me to a mental hospital and they were going to put me in straight jacket and all this awful stuff. So I started to panic and freak out.
My teacher was trying to calm me down and sooth me. During church she had me read bible verses to help with how I was feeling. We got home and got ready for bed, her girls went to the room, and we sat in the living room just talking. She was nervous I would do something dumb so she laid next to me and was just talking to me. I really needed comfort since everyone who was a major part in my life was Mad at me. We stayed up til 1 because I kept looking at my and she kept getting nervous every time I did that. She finally took my phone an hid it, she had me lay next to her and she played with my hair and sang to me til I fell asleep.
Then this morning the Administrator I’ve been talking to about everything with, emailed me this morning asking if I was ok. I told her know. Then I emailed the teacher (Mrs. K) asking why she told Mrs. S about what happened. Mrs. K said that Mrs. S was worried that I was mad at her because of the 2 CPS reports. MEANING Mrs. S called CPS. I am like hurt an angry and upset, at myself to because I let this happen again.
I don’t know what to do right now…