The title says it all. I graduated high school today, and I have never been this suicidal in my entire life. I’m not going to college or anything, so I feel like it’s just my time to go. I said goodbye to everyone, so it’s okay if I die now. Nobody there really liked me much, anyway. To be honest, I’m surprised I made it this far. I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation, but I did. Now I don’t really have anything left to live for. It’s almost sad, I used to have such big dreams and high hopes, but I don’t know what happened. Depression stole them from me, I guess. I used to be full of passion and life and now I’m just empty. I had the potential to be something great, to accomplish all those dreams, but somewhere down the road, I fucked up. I’m fucked up. I just wanted to be a writer. But I’m beyond help, and it’d be better if I just end it all now.
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3 comments
many many writers were depressed, excellent career choice considering…I bet happy writers produce less, they just drink hot cocoa and play fetch with the dog all day long…or else drunk dope and whores like those Winnie the Pooh tales
I like how you write.
Graduation is such a mind fuck. It is not unusual and actually very honest of you to say how you feel about it. A lot of people don’t because – you know – talking about it aint popular as a topic. Feel however you want to – just cuz society expects grads to be tap dancin does not make it the reality for others.
Yeah depression has a way of painting the wold flat black and we forget ever having smiled. That is the insidious nature of it where dreams are concerned. The reality sets in at keynote times like graduation asking – ok man – how do we get to those dreams. And its like fuuuuck.
Im still tryn to figure that one out and I am an old MF
you could try writing blogs or something like that in your spare time. im sure there can be some kind of money making opportunity there. if that interests you. the best part about graduating is you dont have to deal with some of the lame ass people you had to see on a daily basis.