I haven’t been posting much lately because I have too much to rant about and nobody needs to hear that shit. So.. have some ramblings.
im living on a grain of sand. If i make the wrong move, I’ll fall off. It’s so desolate and dry. I just want to turn it into a pearl. I need to break. I need to collapse and break things. I need to scream and put my fist through a wall. On the inside, i’m losing control, but they still seem to think i have my life together. In their eyes, im confident. In their eyes, I’m strong and focused. In reality, I’m a mess. I’m just the calm before an ungodly storm. It’s just a matter of time before the pressure gets the best of me. 14 days. two weeks until I leave. its only for a few days, but it is an escape none the less. I need to get away and clear my head. I need to focus my energies. after all… all we are is energy. we are matter held together by energy. we are not our bodies. we are the mark that we make on this world. I havent exactly made a positive impact. maybe its time for that to change. maybe if i change my mark, i can change my situation. i dont know. thats stupid. i guess its worth a shot.
11 comments
You make a lot of sense! Wow. Wise words. I like it. Especially about we are not our bodies but the mark we make in the world.
I’m glad you have a trip planned. Where are you going?
AND it is not stupid!
Just Dallas. Going to warped tour. Gonna spend the weekend there. I’ve been looking forward to this all year.
Glad you have your trip!
Sorry you feel you are losing control. I’ve been there, some days still there. Keep going, you’ll make it. You are not alone.
Don’t hit a wall you’ll hurt your hand I’ve fractured my hand in the past trust me it’s not worth it and if you’re making it look like your calm when shits hitting the fan you’re a very strong woman indeed I hope you overcome your strughles madam
Fair enough. No hitting walls. Thank you
Sammi hope you get better 😉
Thanks. 🙂
Heya Sams, I’ve been worried about you. Well first the fun stuff: Warped Tour HELL YES. You need that. Not just to get away, but the music is good for the soul.
Now about this grain of sand. Well, a couple flower pots & a fresh coat of paint, and it actually starts to look homey. For real though, I think the best we can do is link up with other grains of sand & other castaways, and eventually we’ll have a whole beach. A big giant dysfunctional beach. So go ahead and build up that fearless-leader exterior for the sake of the show, but when you need to collapse, we’re all here for you. I’m here. Lifeguard on duty 🙂
Don’t worry about me, salt. I’ll be okay. One way or another, I’ll find my way out of this. 🙂
I’ve always wanted to live near the beach.. I guess becoming the beach wouldn’t be so bad. But if you let me drown while you’re on duty, I will haunt you for all of eternity. ._.
Fair enough… but I should inform you I can’t swim for beans. So when I finally reach you, you might want to have an inflatable rubber ducky handy 😛
Or come to think of it, my own private ghost would be pretty cool. So ixnay on the ubber duckyray