I’ve been at work since seven
I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship
Reminding me of how stupid I am
How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention
How I made the love of my life walk away from me
How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…
but little does he know is that he’s killing me.
I found a box of razor blades.
one cut for every time I’ve called
their not big or deep cuts but they hurt
I’m not good at pain
idk what to do
I feel like I need to punish myself for what I’ve done except I want to do more I’m just scared
He comes home in a week
if he won’t work it out with me I don’t want to live without him
how crazy does that sound?
i know it is. I’m young. I can redo my life. But I don’t want too. I don’t want to be without him. We planned for marriage and babies and living together on a farm. My dreams are ruined my life is over if he doesn’t come back.
im so lost
3 comments
You’re not stupid.
Being over-emotional shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but either ways it can probably be worked on if it caused any big issue.
Why would he say you’re killing him? I’m sure you haven’t done anything that bad.
Anything can be worked on and if he’s going to give you two another chance to work things out that means nothing is lost yet.
You have no reason to punish yourself for anything, you haven’t done anything all that bad.
You can start doing better especially now.
You can take the time before he comes back and talks to you to think about everything and figure what were the main issues and the main problems between you two and how to fix them.
If you manage to think about it all now and come up with a plan and what you can tell him and how to convince him you’ll be clamer later which will also help.
Nothing is lost yet.
The possibility on if he will give us the chance is a big if. I appreciate the advice. It does help and make me feel better but nothing has changed
I’m going through something really similar. I felt like my boyfriend was drifting away, I would try to get in touch with him, but he wouldn’t answer for days. I’d finally threaten to kill myself after a little over a week of this. He did this to me multiple times over the last few months. I would wonder if I did something by accident to upset him, but he would never really explain why he wouldn’t talk to me. I was in such a dark place, and now he’s leaving because he thinks i’m clingy and depressing. Its not really your fault, you really love him and you feel so happy when you spend time together, right? It just means that it hurts you even more when he doesn’t pay attention to you. Its confusing too because a lot of guys don’t want to talk about their feelings until they’ve reached their limit. Sometimes people just want time alone i guess. But are you ok? Please don’t hurt yourself. I know it’s painful for you right now, but talking to people about it will help, even if it only helps a little