I have bad anxiety and suffer from depression. I don’t know why God has chosen this life for me. I want out of this life but I know it’ll greatly impact the people around me. I worry mostly about my mom and my siblings because I know they’ll be affected the most. But I’m tired of taking everyone into consideration I’m not happy and I want out! I’m tired of waking up and faking a smile just to make other people think that I’m okay when I’m really suffering inside. Today I was going to drown myself and just as I get ready to step into the water my mother texted me which left me chickening out….
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I’m glad she texted you — I almost died in a river when I was a child and I don’t have good memories of that day, I don’t think that would be a nice death. It’s a terrible feeling (some people told me the opposite, but my experience wasn’t nice), and even though I don’t know you I hope you never go through that. I know you’re tired and that you’re still here because you care about your family. I respect you for that. You probably have a brave and beautiful soul to keep fighting and struggling to survive because you care about others. I hope your life changes and that you can be happy someday.
Love and light.