I live in a pretty rural area I guess you’d call it. In the last few months 4 people around here have committed suicide. I knew one of them vaguely from school long ago. I feel like this is a sign telling me it’s ok if I go too. One of them killed himself on my planned death day, the day after my birthday. I wasn’t able to go through with it because my dad had decided to stay home. I know that might be a sign too. The thing is, I could go on, maybe. I don’t think it’d be worth it and I really don’t want. I’m not ready to die yet though. But hopefully soon I will be.
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Hmm signs? Like the universe is sending a signal to you, “well if Joseph, Jennifer, Jerry, and Tamara melodychild will get the point that it’s time, but not on the the day after his birthday. We will use our mystical universe magic so his dad stays home for work, again he will get the point.”?
Try not to read into insignificant coincidence, I know it’s hard, I still do shit like that all of the time. Sometimes I flip a coin and say, “If it’s heads, I’ll have a good day today.” I know it’s absurd, but it makes me feel like there’s some other driving force in the universe that can have an influence on my life other than myself.
Anyway, try to live life through your own eyes, try not to extrapolate meaning from things they have nothing to do with you.
I live in farm country, my municipality for the majority of my life was a village. If you think you could go on, then take the chance, try to seek out ways to improve your life. Worse thing that could happen is you want to die more, and best case you feel better. If you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying, then why not?
Interesting. In my rural area about four twenty year old guys have been arrested for enslaving 14 year old girls. I take this as a sign that living in farm country is el shitto sandwhicho.
Sorry you feel like it’s time for you to go. I also understand the feeling. You are so nice and I’m so selfish wanting to live in a world filled with people like you.
Hugs.
Oh SeeSmith. Every comment you write makes my day lol. But I don’t know, it could be some kind of sign if things keep popping up to prevent you from doing anything. But who really knows