Does anyone get me?

To this day i always tell me people i love being alone
And it’s true. I do like being alone.

But everyone confuses it with lonliness and i cant stand feeling lonely.

There is no actual point anymore for me.

I have 0 interest in anything anymore.
Ive tried to engage yself in so many activies and trying to do more hobbies but nothing catches me. Nor does the depression help.

I am a hopeless case

I dont want my life to be saved nor am i asking for help when i write this.

I just want to die and stop the pointlessness of what my life is.

Every single day for the past half year i’ve been thinking of suicide.

Ive talked to friends but they really just dont understand. There are parts of me no friend want to understand.

I’m mentally ill somewhat.

Nothing crazy, i’m just extremely self centered and believe the world should bow at my feet, i’m a tad bit paranoid.

I also hate myself more than anything

Being a meglomanic and hating yourself is a fucking nightmare.

Its like having social anxiety and being the life of a party.

Mentally i will always believe i deserve the best and nothing is going to change that.

Emotionally, i’m lost and barely feel anything anymore

I just feel alone. I’m too scared to end my life. I just want it to end.