I suck at life

That’s nothing new… hundreds of YouTube trolls told me that long ago. Anyway, I begged and kept on about trying to hang with the guy I like and I’m at the place he’s living now and about 8 people live here. Naturally there’s not much interaction and I’ve talked more to the other friend who does graphics design for a living and we compared work and gave tips to each other. And I’m staring at him like the piece of meat he is. Like a fat kid looking into a bakery when it’s closed for the night… looking at him and being unable to deny that he is truly gorgeous, has such a beautiful face, has such a great body, and I know what a gift from God he has hidden in his pants…. good lord! I suck at life. I suck at handling anything. I was mostly just testing to see IF he would agree to see me. I was pressing for it and about to explode with the rage of a trillion Hells and call him out on facebook… But he said ok. But he plans to go out at 7 (and chase hoes I assume). But I sit here like a total loser. Brought over cokes and frozen pizza for us, and stare at him wishing I could lick him head to toe. I need a man like that. Around 6’3″-6’4″, around 300 lbs, and just godly. So fucking gorgoeus. Like seriously? Really? What creator or universe would make something so fine and yet so untouchable???