Before I get into all the crazy stuffs, that’s been happening in my life… I felt like I needed to vent a little about love problems.
For some reason I’ve always had girls who were too good for me interested in me. Like these are my dream type of girls and they like me for God knows what reason, I am a really secluded and shy guy though, and I am Korean American.
Yet because of all these crazy things happening in my life that has some to do with religion, I always bottled myself out from the outside world, since I changed starting at 17 or so.
Well a while ago I was pretty good looking, when I had long hair, but now with all the stress I am losing hair, and I don’t quite have as much confidence and style that I used to have, but I still have some girls that are interested in me.
This late love interest is a shy and quiet girl like me, and she takes French with me right now. Honestly I don’t feel like I am ready to have a relationship, or come out of my shell. In order to do that, I somehow need to come clean with everything that’s been going on in my life, and what happened to me. And why I am so secretive, and not outgoing, yet it would be too awkward and she might think I am crazy or get scared off.
Honestly I am not a normal person… I usually just put my headphones on when I am outside, not bothering to talk to most people…
and I really passed up girls that were like… way too good for me. I don’t even know what these people see in me?
I think I had a mission I needed to do, but then I lost it cause I wasn’t strong enough. Now all I am thinking about is… Yeah now all I am is someone who used to be special… I figure it would be better to not prolong the inevitable, of death and just put myself out.
Like working 9-5, getting with a girl I am not at all interested in, and just living that normal consumerism life, or going back to Korea to teach, and just always being lonely, because I don’t have anyone that would understand me; doesn’t sound too good right now.
Maybe I should become more positive, and try to get back on this self-improvement path I’ve been trying to go on…
Anyways life is strange, it’s stranger than fiction.
2 comments
Working 9-5? that’s not even 8 hours. Have you considered joining the military? that might give you a goal in life.
No one is “too good” for someone else. In the grand scheme of things all human beings are very unremarkable and very similar to each other… And, yes, this means you, too.
Self improvement is a noble goal, but only if you enjoy it – not because you think you need to be “better” to meet some sort of social standard.
Here’s some food for thought: Every time you reject someone because you think you aren’t good enough it’s the same as saying to the person you reject, “you are incapable of making informed decisions about who you are interested in.” This is disrespectful.
People may like you for a thousand tiny reasons you aren’t aware of – and possibly you will never be aware of. Quit trying to impose your world view on the motives of others. Let life happen.